ptwo hundred, forty-one]
YThis is going to be short, but i just wanted to say that if you love someone, tell them everyday, tell them everytime you think of it, and tell everyone you know. Unless you're completely close, then make things private, but to be honest it is important for love to be shared. Love isn't tangible, it isn't material, it isn't something written on a card, it is something that you feel deep deep inside of you, and when you breathe it makes the sun shine and the wind blow, it makes you feel incredible all the time, and in the bad times it makes you feel like there is hope.
I love you.
Jess
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
oobie doobie doo
[two hundred, torty-two]
Is creativity subjective, or is it in a set perametre of "out of the box" that has been told to every high school english student for decades. Think out of the box. Think out of the box. Think out of the box. When you're writing a university essay, and you think too far out of the prof's box, you're out of the ballpark, but not in a good way. Be creative, but keep it classy, sand diago.
I think that creativity is innovative, it isn't something that you can just say "oh hey I'm creative," it has to be made from scratch and be loving and different and passionate, and it can be terrible, but atleast it is interesting.
Maybe creative should be a synonym for interesting, maybe that's just what I think. I think that people are too worried about being acceptable socially to be truly creative, and so they try to do things out of the box but in the lines. Just hit a home run, get out of there completely, try and do your absolute best, but be passionate about it.
Love what you do, do what you love.
That is what I live by, I don't do things that I hate just to do them, unless I must or need to to help someone else. I want to continue to do things that I love for the rest of my life, because they are important to me enough for me to care about them, and I think that if you care about something enough to love it, it is worth doing.
Always,
Jess :]
Is creativity subjective, or is it in a set perametre of "out of the box" that has been told to every high school english student for decades. Think out of the box. Think out of the box. Think out of the box. When you're writing a university essay, and you think too far out of the prof's box, you're out of the ballpark, but not in a good way. Be creative, but keep it classy, sand diago.
I think that creativity is innovative, it isn't something that you can just say "oh hey I'm creative," it has to be made from scratch and be loving and different and passionate, and it can be terrible, but atleast it is interesting.
Maybe creative should be a synonym for interesting, maybe that's just what I think. I think that people are too worried about being acceptable socially to be truly creative, and so they try to do things out of the box but in the lines. Just hit a home run, get out of there completely, try and do your absolute best, but be passionate about it.
Love what you do, do what you love.
That is what I live by, I don't do things that I hate just to do them, unless I must or need to to help someone else. I want to continue to do things that I love for the rest of my life, because they are important to me enough for me to care about them, and I think that if you care about something enough to love it, it is worth doing.
Always,
Jess :]
these are MY booberries, two
[two hundred, forty]
I started knitting last night, my roomie taught me, and the scarf I'm making is terrible, but I like it because I actually made it myself, and I think it is so exciting that I am actually doing something creative and productive! Here is the list of people that I hope to make something for this Christmas:
Grandma P, Grandma W, Riss, Ceara, Mom, Zo, possibly the roomies and the bio ladies, possibly, but who knows how long these things are gonna take to make not look like a holy (as in lots of holes, not saint-like), pieces of yarn with little things that are soft and sorta pretty in them, to beauties!
Beauties OR the beasts, that would be what I'd call my knitting brand, that makes me a loser.
love,
Jess :]
I started knitting last night, my roomie taught me, and the scarf I'm making is terrible, but I like it because I actually made it myself, and I think it is so exciting that I am actually doing something creative and productive! Here is the list of people that I hope to make something for this Christmas:
Grandma P, Grandma W, Riss, Ceara, Mom, Zo, possibly the roomies and the bio ladies, possibly, but who knows how long these things are gonna take to make not look like a holy (as in lots of holes, not saint-like), pieces of yarn with little things that are soft and sorta pretty in them, to beauties!
Beauties OR the beasts, that would be what I'd call my knitting brand, that makes me a loser.
love,
Jess :]
bring me some cocker spaniel puppies three
[two hundred, thirty-nine]
oh do stock and shoe
break and take snake shake n bake
come on down to hobo town
the train they stain the world's big plain
and tanned scan band like bingo cans,
tongue ton bungalows in fun bun town,
down? sound. What's the ground,
hit bit tip ship laughing cack fit bit,
shut that what bat scat the cat back to back,
and what but shut the up up up skin scup
scuffle, in the truffle chin, spin the tippies in,
focus: sounds, sounds and more sounds,
it sounds okay
Jess :]
oh do stock and shoe
break and take snake shake n bake
come on down to hobo town
the train they stain the world's big plain
and tanned scan band like bingo cans,
tongue ton bungalows in fun bun town,
down? sound. What's the ground,
hit bit tip ship laughing cack fit bit,
shut that what bat scat the cat back to back,
and what but shut the up up up skin scup
scuffle, in the truffle chin, spin the tippies in,
focus: sounds, sounds and more sounds,
it sounds okay
Jess :]
wow my room is a mess four
[two hundred, thirty-eight]
I wish that the entire entertainment system continued on with radio shows, like the bbc continues its radio shows where it isn't full of music, but there is a lot of talking a lot of conversation, and I think since I can't see very well in detail I like the conversations of people a lot better, I appreciate it a lot more, the dialogue in improv-style, and just good personable people. Why am I so on to this?
I dig it.
I'm listening to the old russell brand radio shows right now, I love that it makes me laugh out loud and cry funnny tears,smiling, man, it is so intelligent, it is so smart and witty and just very very good, I recommend this to everyone. His voice is also wonderful to listen to, everyone knows him as an actor though, or the man who's married to katy parry...
Awkward.
Anyways, enjoy.
pin pin,
Jess :]
I wish that the entire entertainment system continued on with radio shows, like the bbc continues its radio shows where it isn't full of music, but there is a lot of talking a lot of conversation, and I think since I can't see very well in detail I like the conversations of people a lot better, I appreciate it a lot more, the dialogue in improv-style, and just good personable people. Why am I so on to this?
I dig it.
I'm listening to the old russell brand radio shows right now, I love that it makes me laugh out loud and cry funnny tears,smiling, man, it is so intelligent, it is so smart and witty and just very very good, I recommend this to everyone. His voice is also wonderful to listen to, everyone knows him as an actor though, or the man who's married to katy parry...
Awkward.
Anyways, enjoy.
pin pin,
Jess :]
care bear countdown five
[two hundred, thirty-seven]
The fact of the matter of life is is that it is a mystery, it can't be defined, it isn't something that people search for like the holy grail, it is efemeral, it is living, and people search for happiness. Despite what everyone thinks, the human core is based around a selfish value, a journey for self discovery, Why is everyone so obsessed? Is that the right word, obsession?
If that is true, then the journey for self discovery is the most self-obsessed, selfish, independently contradicting idea in the world. People want to be charitable, and selfless, but that journey sort of completely contradicts the fact that those same peopole, and many people who don't have that mindset, believe that the world is about happiness and self discovery. You can't be self-directed and discovering if you want to be selfless, it doesn't work.
So the good ones have a very good medium, a happy balance (pun, intended), and it is a very nice thing to think of and I feel like in order to discover yourself, you have to come to terms that it is a part of human core to indulge in yourself in order to be selfless for other people, but to be completely selfless is sort of an idiotic idea.
I don't think I'm selfless, I actually know that I am not selfless, but I like to dot hings for people and help people be happy, I wish that everyone could smile all the time everyday, but I want to be smiling too, and in that way unfortunately not everyone can be smiling all the time.
So today please take a little time to just be comfortable and happy, get all cosy, and just don't worry about everything that is about to happen or has happened, or the fact that you didn't hold the elevator for that person, or you can't like that person who has feelings for you back, you can't control fate, and it is destiny that you are here.
hugs,
Jess :]
The fact of the matter of life is is that it is a mystery, it can't be defined, it isn't something that people search for like the holy grail, it is efemeral, it is living, and people search for happiness. Despite what everyone thinks, the human core is based around a selfish value, a journey for self discovery, Why is everyone so obsessed? Is that the right word, obsession?
If that is true, then the journey for self discovery is the most self-obsessed, selfish, independently contradicting idea in the world. People want to be charitable, and selfless, but that journey sort of completely contradicts the fact that those same peopole, and many people who don't have that mindset, believe that the world is about happiness and self discovery. You can't be self-directed and discovering if you want to be selfless, it doesn't work.
So the good ones have a very good medium, a happy balance (pun, intended), and it is a very nice thing to think of and I feel like in order to discover yourself, you have to come to terms that it is a part of human core to indulge in yourself in order to be selfless for other people, but to be completely selfless is sort of an idiotic idea.
I don't think I'm selfless, I actually know that I am not selfless, but I like to dot hings for people and help people be happy, I wish that everyone could smile all the time everyday, but I want to be smiling too, and in that way unfortunately not everyone can be smiling all the time.
So today please take a little time to just be comfortable and happy, get all cosy, and just don't worry about everything that is about to happen or has happened, or the fact that you didn't hold the elevator for that person, or you can't like that person who has feelings for you back, you can't control fate, and it is destiny that you are here.
hugs,
Jess :]
Monday, August 29, 2011
if i were a flower growing wild and free
[two hundred, thirty-five?]
I have no idea if that is even close to being the right number, or post, or anything, but I must say, it is nice to finally be in the place and in the mindset of going back to school, even if it comes with some unfortunate sharp edges.
I'm not going to say that I am not excited for summer to be over, because really, it is nice that it is coming to an end and there will be some new structure and people in my life, but man, this was a great summer, I am going to miss it, and some certain amazing things about it.
I wish I could say that I have a song that fixes the feeling of the end of summer, or this summer in particular, but I don't. I believe in songs telling your story, or just being you in general, but I can't think of any for how I am right now. I want to dip into some crooner stuff, I actually just had a thought baout a Billie Holiday 'I'll be seeing you,' and it is...it is miraculously perfect.
I'll be seeing you,
Jess :]
I have no idea if that is even close to being the right number, or post, or anything, but I must say, it is nice to finally be in the place and in the mindset of going back to school, even if it comes with some unfortunate sharp edges.
I'm not going to say that I am not excited for summer to be over, because really, it is nice that it is coming to an end and there will be some new structure and people in my life, but man, this was a great summer, I am going to miss it, and some certain amazing things about it.
I wish I could say that I have a song that fixes the feeling of the end of summer, or this summer in particular, but I don't. I believe in songs telling your story, or just being you in general, but I can't think of any for how I am right now. I want to dip into some crooner stuff, I actually just had a thought baout a Billie Holiday 'I'll be seeing you,' and it is...it is miraculously perfect.
I'll be seeing you,
Jess :]
Friday, August 26, 2011
and i just can't get enough
[two hundred, thirty-five]
I love the eighties, everything about them. I'm in a music kick of Blondie and the Cars and all of that good stuff, the synth and the disco beats and the grooves, the riff's that end in a twangy reprise, I feel so much more connected to that music than anything that is on the charts right now, it was so much easier to dance to, and remember the lyrics.
I love the style. That sounds so stupid since I look through my mom's closet from then when she was in college and she had high waisted everything, shoulder pads, big glasses, leg warmers, converse, but if you've met me, most of these things are a staple in my wordrobe *give or take the shoulder pads). I've also been considering a perm, getting one, finding people who have them, just because it was so freakin' NEAT. I love that, just bein in a set style.
Obviously now in the milennia (what do I call this time, the two thousands?) there is a specific style of clothings, hair, makeup even, shoes, etc. But it isn't as identifiable right now. The low rise skinny jeans, flats or ugg boots, low cut, straight almost mullet-type hair, everything will be identifiable eventually, but since it is just "in" right now it is hard to even care about it.
Which brings me to my weirdest (or one of them) facts about me: I focus a whole helluva lot on style through the decades. Starting in say post ww1, there is different dance, clothing, music, domestic, political, racial, everything is so different, and even from then until now, there is different ways of doing things. I focus on these, I think this is from being in theatre and doing separate time pieces. Having to put on three plays in one evening. One contemporary set, one set in the eighties, and one set in the fictional fifties, and putting differnt things on the tv sets, and having proportional music to the size and domesticality of the set, having costumes apporpriate for not only the year and style, but the age and gender in those days. it is a focus that is important in something like that, that's probably why I love theatre theory so much, and working with characters as opposed to script.
I am le nerd extrordinaire, mon amis.
So you may ask why I'm bringing it all up now, and that is because I have recently bought some new things for my wardrobe, and I find it really silly that I had to buy skinny jeans, low rise, when I love the mid to high rise a lot better, but it is all for aesthetic's sake. I wish things were different in a social context, that people never felt fat or not good enough for sociaety's standards, so that no one had to be self conscious about walking out their front door. I wish that people were more accepting of everyone than neglecting.
MAKE LOVE NOT HORCRUXES.
What, you thought the nerdiness was over?
Pkay then, love,
Jess :]
I love the eighties, everything about them. I'm in a music kick of Blondie and the Cars and all of that good stuff, the synth and the disco beats and the grooves, the riff's that end in a twangy reprise, I feel so much more connected to that music than anything that is on the charts right now, it was so much easier to dance to, and remember the lyrics.
I love the style. That sounds so stupid since I look through my mom's closet from then when she was in college and she had high waisted everything, shoulder pads, big glasses, leg warmers, converse, but if you've met me, most of these things are a staple in my wordrobe *give or take the shoulder pads). I've also been considering a perm, getting one, finding people who have them, just because it was so freakin' NEAT. I love that, just bein in a set style.
Obviously now in the milennia (what do I call this time, the two thousands?) there is a specific style of clothings, hair, makeup even, shoes, etc. But it isn't as identifiable right now. The low rise skinny jeans, flats or ugg boots, low cut, straight almost mullet-type hair, everything will be identifiable eventually, but since it is just "in" right now it is hard to even care about it.
Which brings me to my weirdest (or one of them) facts about me: I focus a whole helluva lot on style through the decades. Starting in say post ww1, there is different dance, clothing, music, domestic, political, racial, everything is so different, and even from then until now, there is different ways of doing things. I focus on these, I think this is from being in theatre and doing separate time pieces. Having to put on three plays in one evening. One contemporary set, one set in the eighties, and one set in the fictional fifties, and putting differnt things on the tv sets, and having proportional music to the size and domesticality of the set, having costumes apporpriate for not only the year and style, but the age and gender in those days. it is a focus that is important in something like that, that's probably why I love theatre theory so much, and working with characters as opposed to script.
I am le nerd extrordinaire, mon amis.
So you may ask why I'm bringing it all up now, and that is because I have recently bought some new things for my wardrobe, and I find it really silly that I had to buy skinny jeans, low rise, when I love the mid to high rise a lot better, but it is all for aesthetic's sake. I wish things were different in a social context, that people never felt fat or not good enough for sociaety's standards, so that no one had to be self conscious about walking out their front door. I wish that people were more accepting of everyone than neglecting.
MAKE LOVE NOT HORCRUXES.
What, you thought the nerdiness was over?
Pkay then, love,
Jess :]
help me out
[two hundred, thirty-four]
I'm sorry I am behind on posts again, only four posts today though, so I will do two in the morning and two in the afternoon. I am such a cheater, I promised that even if I was behind on posts I would write them anyway on my computer, but look at me, I have not done that, so I guess I'm a terrible blogger, but that is beyond the point of this blog, the point of this blog is so that I am actually writing daily, which is a good thing.
So even if I miss a couple of days here and there, I am still on track because I am obviously thinking about it, and thinking about things and values and ideas, and I just can't get to the computer to put them down. This is the process in which my blogs are written daily.
First, I think about when I will write them, it could be first thing in the morning, but usually it is right around the time before I go to bed, which is common because it isn't that I forget about them,, it is just that I have no time prior to that. Then I go to blogspot and sign in, find a new post, figure out what day I am, write a random title, and then start writing. I would love to say I plan out everything perfectly, but I write as I speak, and sometimes that isn't plkanned, well, usually it isn't planned.
So here I am, coming up with things as I go, trying to make things not sound completely stupid or ignorant or cheesy, but all three of those things happen frequently and that's just how things are so I deal with it. I like this blog a lot because it helps me organise thoughts, but also try to creatively express them, which happens a lot in everyday life for me, but here you can't see me talking with my hands.
So I challenge you to do something out of the box today, write apoem, take a bubble bath, take a long walk and admire nature, do something that you usually wouldn't, and see how doing it surprises you. I'm not sure what I'm going to do, possibly help make bread, I'm not sure, whatever it is thought I know I will love it.
take care,
Jess :]
I'm sorry I am behind on posts again, only four posts today though, so I will do two in the morning and two in the afternoon. I am such a cheater, I promised that even if I was behind on posts I would write them anyway on my computer, but look at me, I have not done that, so I guess I'm a terrible blogger, but that is beyond the point of this blog, the point of this blog is so that I am actually writing daily, which is a good thing.
So even if I miss a couple of days here and there, I am still on track because I am obviously thinking about it, and thinking about things and values and ideas, and I just can't get to the computer to put them down. This is the process in which my blogs are written daily.
First, I think about when I will write them, it could be first thing in the morning, but usually it is right around the time before I go to bed, which is common because it isn't that I forget about them,, it is just that I have no time prior to that. Then I go to blogspot and sign in, find a new post, figure out what day I am, write a random title, and then start writing. I would love to say I plan out everything perfectly, but I write as I speak, and sometimes that isn't plkanned, well, usually it isn't planned.
So here I am, coming up with things as I go, trying to make things not sound completely stupid or ignorant or cheesy, but all three of those things happen frequently and that's just how things are so I deal with it. I like this blog a lot because it helps me organise thoughts, but also try to creatively express them, which happens a lot in everyday life for me, but here you can't see me talking with my hands.
So I challenge you to do something out of the box today, write apoem, take a bubble bath, take a long walk and admire nature, do something that you usually wouldn't, and see how doing it surprises you. I'm not sure what I'm going to do, possibly help make bread, I'm not sure, whatever it is thought I know I will love it.
take care,
Jess :]
Monday, August 22, 2011
sugarpie honeybucnh
[two hundred, thirty-three]
My friends are fabulous people. I define 'fabulous' as someone who just knows where it's at, who's not perfect and has flaws but knows who they are, who they want to be, how to care and love for someone, and how to have a good time. An example of some fabulous people are: Princess Diana, Carrie Bradshaw, Jackie Kennedy, Audrey Hepburn, etc. Some fabulous people in their own, very eccentric ways.
My friends are fabulous because they just have the style for it. They can be easy going and laid back, but also be passionate about what they love. I also have the bias about my friends, since I love them all and they are all incredibly fantastic to me. I am tahnkful for them, if it weren't for them I probably wouldn't be where I am today, as strong as I am, or have a purpose/drive to do anything.
So if you have amazing, fabulous friends, let them know, because no one loves it better then to know that they are fabulous.
take care,
Jess :]
My friends are fabulous people. I define 'fabulous' as someone who just knows where it's at, who's not perfect and has flaws but knows who they are, who they want to be, how to care and love for someone, and how to have a good time. An example of some fabulous people are: Princess Diana, Carrie Bradshaw, Jackie Kennedy, Audrey Hepburn, etc. Some fabulous people in their own, very eccentric ways.
My friends are fabulous because they just have the style for it. They can be easy going and laid back, but also be passionate about what they love. I also have the bias about my friends, since I love them all and they are all incredibly fantastic to me. I am tahnkful for them, if it weren't for them I probably wouldn't be where I am today, as strong as I am, or have a purpose/drive to do anything.
So if you have amazing, fabulous friends, let them know, because no one loves it better then to know that they are fabulous.
take care,
Jess :]
Sunday, August 21, 2011
it's as cold as the tundra out here!
[two hundred, thirty-two]
It is actually really chilly in the new house, since it is a basement apartment, it tends to be cooler naturally. I think it will be good all year round though. Since I've been here this summer, I've woken up in the cold, and then walked upstairs to find that it is really warm outside. In the winter, we will be able to make a cozy living space, with blankets and sweaters and slippers, it is just a really good set up down here!
I wish things could've worked out perfectly, and that we could've held hands everyday and ran around and wrestled all the time, or we could've hugged and slow danced in the rain every night, and pushed the car around the parking lot listening to that one cd, and driven real fast down the backroads and danced in the front seat, and took punches and ran across busy streets and ate ice cream under the streetlights. I wish that we could just lay in the hotel beds forever, talking about tomorrow and what goes on inside of our heads, or Christmas or Santa Claus or the future. I wish that every second I spend with you could be recorded so that I could play it back just to watch the way you smile, you're stupid, dumb smirk every second that I can see, and every second that I don't see I know that I'm thinking that you are and so do you, and you notice that I notice it but you do it anyway because it's you. I wish that everytime I was in the dark, that you were out infront of me with your hand oustretched, because even though I couldn't see you acted like I could, I just needed a little help. And I'm just going to miss all of these things, and I wish things were different, but at the same time, I know that this is the best thing, because you do so deserve it, no matter how much you don't believe it or think it, you do.
love,
Jess :]
It is actually really chilly in the new house, since it is a basement apartment, it tends to be cooler naturally. I think it will be good all year round though. Since I've been here this summer, I've woken up in the cold, and then walked upstairs to find that it is really warm outside. In the winter, we will be able to make a cozy living space, with blankets and sweaters and slippers, it is just a really good set up down here!
I wish things could've worked out perfectly, and that we could've held hands everyday and ran around and wrestled all the time, or we could've hugged and slow danced in the rain every night, and pushed the car around the parking lot listening to that one cd, and driven real fast down the backroads and danced in the front seat, and took punches and ran across busy streets and ate ice cream under the streetlights. I wish that we could just lay in the hotel beds forever, talking about tomorrow and what goes on inside of our heads, or Christmas or Santa Claus or the future. I wish that every second I spend with you could be recorded so that I could play it back just to watch the way you smile, you're stupid, dumb smirk every second that I can see, and every second that I don't see I know that I'm thinking that you are and so do you, and you notice that I notice it but you do it anyway because it's you. I wish that everytime I was in the dark, that you were out infront of me with your hand oustretched, because even though I couldn't see you acted like I could, I just needed a little help. And I'm just going to miss all of these things, and I wish things were different, but at the same time, I know that this is the best thing, because you do so deserve it, no matter how much you don't believe it or think it, you do.
love,
Jess :]
Saturday, August 20, 2011
gotcha!
[two hundred, thirty-one]
This post means that I am fully caught up on my posts! Which makes me feel proud, as I have been doing this for a very long time now, and I have grown fond of writing it, even though there are days where I have no intention, motivation, inspiration, or anything else to write it. I may never have ideas, but when I let my fingers write they translate my thoughts better than I thought would be able to happen, so I am proud of that aswell.
I amy look into some online narrative writing for the new school year, along with my other volunteering prospects I would like to get back into writing and reading regularly, not that this blog hasn't helped with the writing aspect, I wish I could read for fun again. I'm looking into reading some favourites of mine over again, or some new books by old authors that I like, whatever I do, I hope it works!
I am so excited for my room mate to come into the house tomorrow, I am going to hug her for an hour and then make her tell me everything about her summer, so she better be ready for that! This marks the beginning of a journey that I a taking, to get all the way to the beginning of my second year of university! Only two weeks now, and I am truly excited!
\
So if you are having a lovely rainy weekend, or cloudy weekend, or just a sparkling lemonade weekend, take a minute and think about what you have to be proud of, because I am proud of you, even if you have nothing that you yourself can think of, I am proud of you for waking up in the morning, that takes a lot of effort, believe me.
Take care!
Jess :]
This post means that I am fully caught up on my posts! Which makes me feel proud, as I have been doing this for a very long time now, and I have grown fond of writing it, even though there are days where I have no intention, motivation, inspiration, or anything else to write it. I may never have ideas, but when I let my fingers write they translate my thoughts better than I thought would be able to happen, so I am proud of that aswell.
I amy look into some online narrative writing for the new school year, along with my other volunteering prospects I would like to get back into writing and reading regularly, not that this blog hasn't helped with the writing aspect, I wish I could read for fun again. I'm looking into reading some favourites of mine over again, or some new books by old authors that I like, whatever I do, I hope it works!
I am so excited for my room mate to come into the house tomorrow, I am going to hug her for an hour and then make her tell me everything about her summer, so she better be ready for that! This marks the beginning of a journey that I a taking, to get all the way to the beginning of my second year of university! Only two weeks now, and I am truly excited!
\
So if you are having a lovely rainy weekend, or cloudy weekend, or just a sparkling lemonade weekend, take a minute and think about what you have to be proud of, because I am proud of you, even if you have nothing that you yourself can think of, I am proud of you for waking up in the morning, that takes a lot of effort, believe me.
Take care!
Jess :]
you are mine and so fine and i won
[two hundred, thirty]
I have never stopped halfway through a blog post and deleted everything I was writing until today, and I was writing about how I am going to go shopping next week, and honestly it was just stupid, so now you get to read how I wish I was more interested in reading lately. I wish that I could look at a book, like a fully written novel and read it wherever I wanted whenever I wanted. Unfortunately, this is no longer possible for me, but I do hope that someday I will be able to! For now I must settle with reading with my ears, which sucks.
I have no motivation to read anymore, and this is depressing, and sort of why I am interested in writing a lot more lately. I am itnerested in learning about the news, what's happening in other parts of the world, and reading things that other people have written. I'm craving a good solid roleplay, actually, my old favourite passtime, and may look into some new websites tomorrow possibly, and hope for the best!
Does anyone else always cross their fingers when you read 'fingers crossed' ? Or am I the only freak who still physically does that. No one believes in superstitions anymore, I'm old fashioned. Sort of like a fifties housewife, but not at all.
okay, bye!
Jess :[
I have never stopped halfway through a blog post and deleted everything I was writing until today, and I was writing about how I am going to go shopping next week, and honestly it was just stupid, so now you get to read how I wish I was more interested in reading lately. I wish that I could look at a book, like a fully written novel and read it wherever I wanted whenever I wanted. Unfortunately, this is no longer possible for me, but I do hope that someday I will be able to! For now I must settle with reading with my ears, which sucks.
I have no motivation to read anymore, and this is depressing, and sort of why I am interested in writing a lot more lately. I am itnerested in learning about the news, what's happening in other parts of the world, and reading things that other people have written. I'm craving a good solid roleplay, actually, my old favourite passtime, and may look into some new websites tomorrow possibly, and hope for the best!
Does anyone else always cross their fingers when you read 'fingers crossed' ? Or am I the only freak who still physically does that. No one believes in superstitions anymore, I'm old fashioned. Sort of like a fifties housewife, but not at all.
okay, bye!
Jess :[
HEAD HUG
[two hundred, twenty-nine]
a cozy smile blossomed under the bright pink mittens covering her face, and i noticed that not only did she smile with a toothless, innocent virtuosity, but she also couldn't stop. i think it was then, that i realised that she was my baby. she knew, of course, what with her pink matching snowsuit that puffed out in all directions and her dark brown eyes and hair, eyes and hair that had been matching her mother's since she was born. there i was, staring at the child, as if she was just a thing that had found me on the street, even though i knew somehwere, she was the baby. i remember the baby, it was small and in a bright pink blanket close to that of the mittens, a direct twin, possibly, and i remember the dark hair that dark hair that matches me that twinned my own, and i remember thinking my oh my this baby is so portable and tiny. i thought about taking her in my baskets to the market but he said no. he always said no to fun things, but the baby smiled at me a lot, and when it got older she smiled with her brown eyes and matching hair to mine, and the pink. ah yes, it must be this one, the pink. he put her in pink so that if i did forget, which i did, a lot, i would remember that in order to bring everything home with me, if i forgot nothing else, always remember pink. her little face was half covered by her mittens, and she was saying that it is me mama it is your--and i stopped her and took her little face into mine, and i looked at my Rosie and i said, my little baby.
focus: unrecognisability, alzheimers?, memory loss?. character development, this one's been walking around my head for a bit, she's lost.
Jess :]
a cozy smile blossomed under the bright pink mittens covering her face, and i noticed that not only did she smile with a toothless, innocent virtuosity, but she also couldn't stop. i think it was then, that i realised that she was my baby. she knew, of course, what with her pink matching snowsuit that puffed out in all directions and her dark brown eyes and hair, eyes and hair that had been matching her mother's since she was born. there i was, staring at the child, as if she was just a thing that had found me on the street, even though i knew somehwere, she was the baby. i remember the baby, it was small and in a bright pink blanket close to that of the mittens, a direct twin, possibly, and i remember the dark hair that dark hair that matches me that twinned my own, and i remember thinking my oh my this baby is so portable and tiny. i thought about taking her in my baskets to the market but he said no. he always said no to fun things, but the baby smiled at me a lot, and when it got older she smiled with her brown eyes and matching hair to mine, and the pink. ah yes, it must be this one, the pink. he put her in pink so that if i did forget, which i did, a lot, i would remember that in order to bring everything home with me, if i forgot nothing else, always remember pink. her little face was half covered by her mittens, and she was saying that it is me mama it is your--and i stopped her and took her little face into mine, and i looked at my Rosie and i said, my little baby.
focus: unrecognisability, alzheimers?, memory loss?. character development, this one's been walking around my head for a bit, she's lost.
Jess :]
squeeze past the mystery and open the door
[two hundred, twenty-eight]
The only downfall to living in the basement is the lack of light. I always dream about living in a bit, darkly shaded oak wood floored house with large bay windows on every wall, that blew white satin curtains when opened, and the entire house was painted in different shades of blue, green, and yellow, with the main bedroom and dining rooms painted red. I don't know why so specific, but it seems like a big country house, something home-y, where there is a pie cooling on the stove top, and a large pitcher of ice water on the counter, with some low jazz playing. At night there would be only red wine and more jazz, but everything would be like a darkly lit dinner party, with friends talking and laughing. What a fantasy dream world I live in, the inside of my head must be littered with forgotten pictures like this. Hard wood, hard times, hard pictures.
My dreams come on slates in my head, when I want to look at an old one I just blow the dust off the slate and dip myself in, like a pensieve, but less watery. My dreams and memories come in dry storage, which is luckilly very good in times of absolute tragedy or turmoil. All are organised by mood or emotion that I need, sometimes by age, sometimes by friend groups or family situations. Sometimes they are categorized by seasons, so a Christmas dream set in the same place as a Fall dream can be found in the season section, but it would be different with age. A lot of my dreams of late are categorized that way just so that I can get the clothing right. You can't wear strappy sandals during Christmas dreams, unless those dreams are set in a tropical place.
All of this is irrelevant to anyone who cannot get into my head, which, fortunately for me, is absolutely no one. The best part about this, is that it all stays in. I have my own perfect world, inside.
I need to catch the train back to reality,
Jess :]
The only downfall to living in the basement is the lack of light. I always dream about living in a bit, darkly shaded oak wood floored house with large bay windows on every wall, that blew white satin curtains when opened, and the entire house was painted in different shades of blue, green, and yellow, with the main bedroom and dining rooms painted red. I don't know why so specific, but it seems like a big country house, something home-y, where there is a pie cooling on the stove top, and a large pitcher of ice water on the counter, with some low jazz playing. At night there would be only red wine and more jazz, but everything would be like a darkly lit dinner party, with friends talking and laughing. What a fantasy dream world I live in, the inside of my head must be littered with forgotten pictures like this. Hard wood, hard times, hard pictures.
My dreams come on slates in my head, when I want to look at an old one I just blow the dust off the slate and dip myself in, like a pensieve, but less watery. My dreams and memories come in dry storage, which is luckilly very good in times of absolute tragedy or turmoil. All are organised by mood or emotion that I need, sometimes by age, sometimes by friend groups or family situations. Sometimes they are categorized by seasons, so a Christmas dream set in the same place as a Fall dream can be found in the season section, but it would be different with age. A lot of my dreams of late are categorized that way just so that I can get the clothing right. You can't wear strappy sandals during Christmas dreams, unless those dreams are set in a tropical place.
All of this is irrelevant to anyone who cannot get into my head, which, fortunately for me, is absolutely no one. The best part about this, is that it all stays in. I have my own perfect world, inside.
I need to catch the train back to reality,
Jess :]
steamboat dreams
[two hundred, twenty seven]
Oh boy, I've been having such a lovely day. I read blogs sometimes, and they're all about how the persons' life is depressing, and they're introvertedly down on themselves, and sometimes my blog is like that, I get all hard on myself, miss perfectionist, not good enough, no purpose blah blah blah, but for the most part I do my best to keep it to plain old complaining or positivity. Today, has been a lovely day.
I woke up and showered, had breakfast, spent a good hour and a bit outside talking to my landlord about how beautiful this day was. I met some of my upsper floor housemates, and ultimately just spent lunch hour laying on my couch reading vogues, with the fashion channel playing. I feel like in the past year I have drifted away from reading magazine, journalistic articles, to becoming a fashionista. Although I have no money or style to input into my fashion sense, I don't admire it any less.
I think it is a terribly structured industry, with unrealistic expectations for beauty, and the specific focus on the size and shape of a woman, and all of the imperfections should be erased, it just all seems so... well, full of shit. I mean, nobody's perfect, unfortauntely, and you have to deal with what you're dealt, there's no 'easy' button for life, it's something you have to get through on your own.
But for me fashion is a statement, a symbol of so much effort of artists putting ideas and passion into designing and working on these clothes and accessories. Maybe this makes me imperially materialistc, I don't think so, since I hardly indulge myself in anything. I have not and never will buy anything from burrberry as it is too expensive, it does not stop me from falling into a passionate love affair with their new red trench coats, or the fact that they have a designer baby line.
I thought that htis was interesting, anyway, as it shows a lot about how I care for passionate things.
love,
Jess :]
Oh boy, I've been having such a lovely day. I read blogs sometimes, and they're all about how the persons' life is depressing, and they're introvertedly down on themselves, and sometimes my blog is like that, I get all hard on myself, miss perfectionist, not good enough, no purpose blah blah blah, but for the most part I do my best to keep it to plain old complaining or positivity. Today, has been a lovely day.
I woke up and showered, had breakfast, spent a good hour and a bit outside talking to my landlord about how beautiful this day was. I met some of my upsper floor housemates, and ultimately just spent lunch hour laying on my couch reading vogues, with the fashion channel playing. I feel like in the past year I have drifted away from reading magazine, journalistic articles, to becoming a fashionista. Although I have no money or style to input into my fashion sense, I don't admire it any less.
I think it is a terribly structured industry, with unrealistic expectations for beauty, and the specific focus on the size and shape of a woman, and all of the imperfections should be erased, it just all seems so... well, full of shit. I mean, nobody's perfect, unfortauntely, and you have to deal with what you're dealt, there's no 'easy' button for life, it's something you have to get through on your own.
But for me fashion is a statement, a symbol of so much effort of artists putting ideas and passion into designing and working on these clothes and accessories. Maybe this makes me imperially materialistc, I don't think so, since I hardly indulge myself in anything. I have not and never will buy anything from burrberry as it is too expensive, it does not stop me from falling into a passionate love affair with their new red trench coats, or the fact that they have a designer baby line.
I thought that htis was interesting, anyway, as it shows a lot about how I care for passionate things.
love,
Jess :]
Friday, August 19, 2011
I wish to be great, I wish to show you greatness
[two hundred, twenty-six?]
I just found out in the same day that two people that had in a way affected my life have died from cancer, and I just cried for a long time. I have detachment issues, especially with death, and to know that someone lost their mum and their daughter today was just hard. I don't want to think about loss but it happens, and I don't want to think about the end but it will come, but until those situations arise, I'm going to be thankful and love.
RIP Mrs P & Esther, you both were incredible people and touched my life let it be, let it be ten years ago or one year ago, you both affected me in unknowing, loving ways, and will be remembered by me. If you want to support Esther's special foundation for cancer, purchase a 'This Star Won't Go Out' bracelet here: http://dftba.com/product/wv/This-Star-Wont-Go-Out-bracelet#!/d/cart , I have to wait a little while in order to order mine, but when I can order it I will probably purchase a couple.
DFTBA,
Jess :]
I just found out in the same day that two people that had in a way affected my life have died from cancer, and I just cried for a long time. I have detachment issues, especially with death, and to know that someone lost their mum and their daughter today was just hard. I don't want to think about loss but it happens, and I don't want to think about the end but it will come, but until those situations arise, I'm going to be thankful and love.
RIP Mrs P & Esther, you both were incredible people and touched my life let it be, let it be ten years ago or one year ago, you both affected me in unknowing, loving ways, and will be remembered by me. If you want to support Esther's special foundation for cancer, purchase a 'This Star Won't Go Out' bracelet here: http://dftba.com/product/wv/This-Star-Wont-Go-Out-bracelet#!/d/cart , I have to wait a little while in order to order mine, but when I can order it I will probably purchase a couple.
DFTBA,
Jess :]
was that too many s's or what?
[two hundred, twenty-five]
I love writing a lot, I mean, I love to write this, because this is all about my thoughts and my poetry and my random thought writing character developmenting, stuff. But I love to write anything. I loved writing that essay I mentioned my last post about interdependence in world politics, I loved writing my last english exam essay, because I can expand ideas and make things sound cute or Jessie-like, but the conclusion I'm trying to draw out here, is that I love to write, period.
I have tried starting and finishing stories, I wrote one two months ago that ended up being thirty pages of a story that, not to toot my own trumpet or anything but man do I actually love that story. I think it is in the style that I will be writing everything else for the rest of my life, and that is no quotation marks, no dialogue that is puntuationally correct, but more like an inside-your-mind in-depth windings. I love the word windings, because it is like how my mind works, it winds.
A pinwheel, I suppose, and I write things in that way, for example:
The dream was dark I guess, and tragic, tragic in such a way that when I saw it through my eyes and it wasn't about me but it was her I was down, down lower and slower than anything really in the dream because the dream was up up and away-stick style, like the tops of a tree. The star on the top of the tree, in fact, and it was pinwheeling faster and fell down, but not as deep as I.
It's all about how you look at things, perspective. I want to formulate some sort of thesis on perspective, society, media, and writing. I wonder if that is possible. I feel like that would be incredible to research, to spend time trolling my internets and look at twitter for media in one hundred forty characters or less, with love and hate and spasms in an acute set space; or looking over blogs and networks, man, this is turning into a fantastic thesis starter, I do hope that I can do this.
Ps, I can't wait to travel, a lot.
love,
Jess :]
I love writing a lot, I mean, I love to write this, because this is all about my thoughts and my poetry and my random thought writing character developmenting, stuff. But I love to write anything. I loved writing that essay I mentioned my last post about interdependence in world politics, I loved writing my last english exam essay, because I can expand ideas and make things sound cute or Jessie-like, but the conclusion I'm trying to draw out here, is that I love to write, period.
I have tried starting and finishing stories, I wrote one two months ago that ended up being thirty pages of a story that, not to toot my own trumpet or anything but man do I actually love that story. I think it is in the style that I will be writing everything else for the rest of my life, and that is no quotation marks, no dialogue that is puntuationally correct, but more like an inside-your-mind in-depth windings. I love the word windings, because it is like how my mind works, it winds.
A pinwheel, I suppose, and I write things in that way, for example:
The dream was dark I guess, and tragic, tragic in such a way that when I saw it through my eyes and it wasn't about me but it was her I was down, down lower and slower than anything really in the dream because the dream was up up and away-stick style, like the tops of a tree. The star on the top of the tree, in fact, and it was pinwheeling faster and fell down, but not as deep as I.
It's all about how you look at things, perspective. I want to formulate some sort of thesis on perspective, society, media, and writing. I wonder if that is possible. I feel like that would be incredible to research, to spend time trolling my internets and look at twitter for media in one hundred forty characters or less, with love and hate and spasms in an acute set space; or looking over blogs and networks, man, this is turning into a fantastic thesis starter, I do hope that I can do this.
Ps, I can't wait to travel, a lot.
love,
Jess :]
god this headache is thirsty
[two hundred, twenty-four]
I'm not going to lie to you bloggy baby, I'm running out of idea's to put into you today. I may may may have to stop halfway and add one on for tomorrow, which is a downer.
Sometimes I wish I was smart... Well, actually, I always wish I was smart, always. I wish that my thoughts that happen inside my head about philosophy and people and literature somehow conveyed through my words in speaking and written ways. I try my hardest here, to talk about what I think about people and life and myself, the world, etc. But it is so hard for me to mold things to make sense.
My clothing is hurting me today, not because I'm fat, but because they are unfortunately really uncomfortable.
I could really go for a nap right now, but I know that in the event that I take a nap longer than ten minutes now, I'll not be able to sleep until four am, which, in the grand scheme of things, is an ungood thing.
I would like to express my love for everyone in my life, the people that I see on a regular basis and those that I do not. They are the reason that I get up in the morning, the reason I work so hard at everything, etcetera, etcetera!
I wrote a paper on the state of world politics and interdependence/reliance for my world politics final, and I just watched a video explaining the US debt crisis, and I'm not gonna lie I am positive that I nailed every news item in that essay because I thoroughly understood the news.
New halfway year resolution: read the NYTIMES atleast three times a week. It means that I'm not stuck in a university bubble, there are other things happening in the world, and I will know about some of them.
That is all, until five minutes from now,
Jess L]
I'm not going to lie to you bloggy baby, I'm running out of idea's to put into you today. I may may may have to stop halfway and add one on for tomorrow, which is a downer.
Sometimes I wish I was smart... Well, actually, I always wish I was smart, always. I wish that my thoughts that happen inside my head about philosophy and people and literature somehow conveyed through my words in speaking and written ways. I try my hardest here, to talk about what I think about people and life and myself, the world, etc. But it is so hard for me to mold things to make sense.
My clothing is hurting me today, not because I'm fat, but because they are unfortunately really uncomfortable.
I could really go for a nap right now, but I know that in the event that I take a nap longer than ten minutes now, I'll not be able to sleep until four am, which, in the grand scheme of things, is an ungood thing.
I would like to express my love for everyone in my life, the people that I see on a regular basis and those that I do not. They are the reason that I get up in the morning, the reason I work so hard at everything, etcetera, etcetera!
I wrote a paper on the state of world politics and interdependence/reliance for my world politics final, and I just watched a video explaining the US debt crisis, and I'm not gonna lie I am positive that I nailed every news item in that essay because I thoroughly understood the news.
New halfway year resolution: read the NYTIMES atleast three times a week. It means that I'm not stuck in a university bubble, there are other things happening in the world, and I will know about some of them.
That is all, until five minutes from now,
Jess L]
I gots the strange on the brain
[two hundred, twenty-three?]
I've been thinking about this year coming up, and how I'll be travelling a lot, and I need a new suitcase. Why are such strange things important to me? I will literally need one prior to Christmas break, because we are leaving for Costa Rica Boxing Day, and then next year the travelling extravaganza begins! I feel like I'm going everywhere, which is hoenestly the most exciting thing I've ever gotten to look forward to. I just think that a proper suitcase is in order!
You need one that is a suitable colour (no pun intended), and that has compartments and handles galore. Also, never forget the Canadian flag. Who knows what kind of treatment bags get if there isn't some pride on there! Right now I am suitcase-less, so anything is better than what I've got now!
Take care,
Jess :]
I've been thinking about this year coming up, and how I'll be travelling a lot, and I need a new suitcase. Why are such strange things important to me? I will literally need one prior to Christmas break, because we are leaving for Costa Rica Boxing Day, and then next year the travelling extravaganza begins! I feel like I'm going everywhere, which is hoenestly the most exciting thing I've ever gotten to look forward to. I just think that a proper suitcase is in order!
You need one that is a suitable colour (no pun intended), and that has compartments and handles galore. Also, never forget the Canadian flag. Who knows what kind of treatment bags get if there isn't some pride on there! Right now I am suitcase-less, so anything is better than what I've got now!
Take care,
Jess :]
Written on Paper and Folded in Ink
[two hundred, twenty-twp]
A hiss now, bundled up ahove the smokeline where the ceiling met the sky,
a tongue that licked like black potted mess and tropical tree tenderness,
huffing and puffing, chug and choo, but the chewing was done,
the drinking was up and the plates were down,
drowing in suds, rub a dub-stubble and shaving cream,
the hiss continued down the hallway,
the linens were all put and folded up up and away,
until the evening the beds were made, the hissing came,
the hissing fell it did down and under it creaked
instead,
and the bringing brought it down, the singing sound,
the hopping down hallway mind took the hands of all
and slid through the paybox, the mail slip,
the slips of singers under the carolling moonlit walkway light,
it begged a while the sound it curled on crippled knees and chopped notes,
what a fluttering, but the inside was warm and smooth,
and the smells were deep, like oak under the feet,
shuffling, scuffling, downright buffling brown nosed cream down the cracks,
the steam billowed the pickled pillows down from the linen liking locks,
closet doors and trucks toppled truffling tocks, tick and tock,
;round the clock the illness begged and sniffled in the corner by the chair,
and the locks of hair fell flowing as sunrise moved further on,
bitten lips and biting shark ship flowering shows, what was it what was it knows,
it knows the floor the crooked hall,
the itching hiss,
the steaming call,
the tortured underbellied screams,
of locked up dropped up choking checking dreams,
dreams? Dreams.
focus: spoking speaking choking dreaming outloud
Jeess :]
A hiss now, bundled up ahove the smokeline where the ceiling met the sky,
a tongue that licked like black potted mess and tropical tree tenderness,
huffing and puffing, chug and choo, but the chewing was done,
the drinking was up and the plates were down,
drowing in suds, rub a dub-stubble and shaving cream,
the hiss continued down the hallway,
the linens were all put and folded up up and away,
until the evening the beds were made, the hissing came,
the hissing fell it did down and under it creaked
instead,
and the bringing brought it down, the singing sound,
the hopping down hallway mind took the hands of all
and slid through the paybox, the mail slip,
the slips of singers under the carolling moonlit walkway light,
it begged a while the sound it curled on crippled knees and chopped notes,
what a fluttering, but the inside was warm and smooth,
and the smells were deep, like oak under the feet,
shuffling, scuffling, downright buffling brown nosed cream down the cracks,
the steam billowed the pickled pillows down from the linen liking locks,
closet doors and trucks toppled truffling tocks, tick and tock,
;round the clock the illness begged and sniffled in the corner by the chair,
and the locks of hair fell flowing as sunrise moved further on,
bitten lips and biting shark ship flowering shows, what was it what was it knows,
it knows the floor the crooked hall,
the itching hiss,
the steaming call,
the tortured underbellied screams,
of locked up dropped up choking checking dreams,
dreams? Dreams.
focus: spoking speaking choking dreaming outloud
Jeess :]
And what, to create? I evolve
[two hundred, twenty-one]
Only about nine more to catch up, I did the actual maths on a sheet of paper, and figured that today I should be at 230, so that is where I shall be by midnight! This may turn into something different, this post that is, by the end. I was thinking about food, I am making a grilled cheese in about four hours, because that's when I plan on having dinner, and hoping that I don't eat much else because I ate way too much bad things yesterday, and I need to work out in a bit because I feel like that is the right thing to do. If you listen to the Beatles than you know that Ringo Starr has a massive nose, I think noses are realtively beautiful to a person, if they are straight or curved or small like in my case, my sister got her nose pierced and I feel like my nose is too small for anything like that. I wish I would get more things pierced, my mum has two regular ear piercings in each ear, which I think is sort of a gorgeous idea, having two pretty little studs on each ear, they could match, or be hoops and rings and dividing studs. Ear rings don't really fascinate me, but the people with them do. I have a friend who gets a new piercing every birthday since she was fourteen, and I think that this masters a whole question of battling individuality in an adolescent searching heroine, seems like the beginning of an eloquent Austen novel, but more contemporary, you don't see any Emma's running around with their petty skirts and curls, with their lips pierced. It shows true courage, I think, but then again, I remember the birdy on my left forearm and think man, I sat there while a man needled an owl into my skin, and I didn't cry. There are so many things to be proud of, and I feel like I am proud of so many people for everything that they do, because they just get up in the morning and shower and smile all day and go to sleep not even thinking anything of their worth or wonderful-ness. Take a bow, ladies and gents, you're the stars today.
That turned out alright, I think.
love,
Jess :]
Only about nine more to catch up, I did the actual maths on a sheet of paper, and figured that today I should be at 230, so that is where I shall be by midnight! This may turn into something different, this post that is, by the end. I was thinking about food, I am making a grilled cheese in about four hours, because that's when I plan on having dinner, and hoping that I don't eat much else because I ate way too much bad things yesterday, and I need to work out in a bit because I feel like that is the right thing to do. If you listen to the Beatles than you know that Ringo Starr has a massive nose, I think noses are realtively beautiful to a person, if they are straight or curved or small like in my case, my sister got her nose pierced and I feel like my nose is too small for anything like that. I wish I would get more things pierced, my mum has two regular ear piercings in each ear, which I think is sort of a gorgeous idea, having two pretty little studs on each ear, they could match, or be hoops and rings and dividing studs. Ear rings don't really fascinate me, but the people with them do. I have a friend who gets a new piercing every birthday since she was fourteen, and I think that this masters a whole question of battling individuality in an adolescent searching heroine, seems like the beginning of an eloquent Austen novel, but more contemporary, you don't see any Emma's running around with their petty skirts and curls, with their lips pierced. It shows true courage, I think, but then again, I remember the birdy on my left forearm and think man, I sat there while a man needled an owl into my skin, and I didn't cry. There are so many things to be proud of, and I feel like I am proud of so many people for everything that they do, because they just get up in the morning and shower and smile all day and go to sleep not even thinking anything of their worth or wonderful-ness. Take a bow, ladies and gents, you're the stars today.
That turned out alright, I think.
love,
Jess :]
I lied, there's more
[two hundred, twenty]
I was buying groceries the other day, and I realised how laid back it is. You think to yourself prior to the trip what you would like to eat, what you need, the basics, the things that you're out of, etc. but you never really take into account the amount unless you are providing for a family. I am feeding little old me and that's it, so I was thinking about portions. I eat a moderate amount, and therefore don't feel bad only buying a few things for a week's worth of food. But to be quite clear, I enjoy the shopping part, as to determine that.
I've never been good with numbers. I am terrible, actually. I am alright with multiplication and adding/subtracting in small equal numbers, no decimals, but I am no expert when it comes to trying to get everything evened up. Percents, even tax, I suck at it. So when I look in the grocery store, and make a schedule, a plan, in my head, about what to eat and which day, and that I plan to eat how much etc. etc. I find it rivetting that a person can consume more in the afternoon-time of the day, as opposed to breaky-poo (as is my case).
Maybe it is just a continuation of my study of nature of people, the way they speak live and are, etc. I love to know the little things, little habits, behaviours, that determine a life. I want to dig deep into personality, to really uncover the truth and questions of everything that is a person. I want to know.
So if it is groceries that I am studying, the manner of physical shopping itself, purchasing, organising and putting away, or the actual act of eating, I am fascinated that people are different, that not everyone does any of things in the same way as me or you or anyone else. I love this fact, that people are unique in their ways, set in their habits, and love the way they act upon them.
Weird thoughts of the day.
Jess :]
I was buying groceries the other day, and I realised how laid back it is. You think to yourself prior to the trip what you would like to eat, what you need, the basics, the things that you're out of, etc. but you never really take into account the amount unless you are providing for a family. I am feeding little old me and that's it, so I was thinking about portions. I eat a moderate amount, and therefore don't feel bad only buying a few things for a week's worth of food. But to be quite clear, I enjoy the shopping part, as to determine that.
I've never been good with numbers. I am terrible, actually. I am alright with multiplication and adding/subtracting in small equal numbers, no decimals, but I am no expert when it comes to trying to get everything evened up. Percents, even tax, I suck at it. So when I look in the grocery store, and make a schedule, a plan, in my head, about what to eat and which day, and that I plan to eat how much etc. etc. I find it rivetting that a person can consume more in the afternoon-time of the day, as opposed to breaky-poo (as is my case).
Maybe it is just a continuation of my study of nature of people, the way they speak live and are, etc. I love to know the little things, little habits, behaviours, that determine a life. I want to dig deep into personality, to really uncover the truth and questions of everything that is a person. I want to know.
So if it is groceries that I am studying, the manner of physical shopping itself, purchasing, organising and putting away, or the actual act of eating, I am fascinated that people are different, that not everyone does any of things in the same way as me or you or anyone else. I love this fact, that people are unique in their ways, set in their habits, and love the way they act upon them.
Weird thoughts of the day.
Jess :]
I'M BACK
[two hundred, nineteen]
Oh boy, do I feel mighty guilty for not writing for over a week. Given, I didn't have internet to withstand this massive blog entry of eight, but not I can catch up all today, and then I will not have to catch up that much ever again!
I have finished work, which I'll miss but it's nice to be on vacation and taking time to just relax and do nothing. Today is literally a do nothing day. I am going to sift around the internet, make a beautiful grilled cheese and ham samwich for supper and watch tlc all night. You know why? Because cable is now isntalled in my living room!
I am in the new house! I am alone, and it is really interesting to be alone because my thoughts are so diverse and strange when given a weird open white empty room to run around in. I am thirsty, throat is dry, but I drink only water as everything else is in the fridge. Logic, at its best.
So that is all for now, I do have to catch up with eight of these, so I might as well begin with the fact that I missed you, blog baby, and I'm back.
Love,
Jess :]
Oh boy, do I feel mighty guilty for not writing for over a week. Given, I didn't have internet to withstand this massive blog entry of eight, but not I can catch up all today, and then I will not have to catch up that much ever again!
I have finished work, which I'll miss but it's nice to be on vacation and taking time to just relax and do nothing. Today is literally a do nothing day. I am going to sift around the internet, make a beautiful grilled cheese and ham samwich for supper and watch tlc all night. You know why? Because cable is now isntalled in my living room!
I am in the new house! I am alone, and it is really interesting to be alone because my thoughts are so diverse and strange when given a weird open white empty room to run around in. I am thirsty, throat is dry, but I drink only water as everything else is in the fridge. Logic, at its best.
So that is all for now, I do have to catch up with eight of these, so I might as well begin with the fact that I missed you, blog baby, and I'm back.
Love,
Jess :]
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
I wish the world lived in the ears
[two hundred, eighteen]
I am in the middle of studying for my music exam on saturday, and I am beginning to just rely on my gut instinct since most of it is music common sense, that I feel like I have. I spent the day at work, doing office-work related things, and then I moved a whole bunch of things into the house, and to be honest, I wish I didn't have so many things.
I hate it.
I don't hate the fact that I seem materialistic because I have so many things, because really, a lot of it is for my vision, or a bed, or essentials. It's just that there is so many things that I could probably do without... I have a personal goal that is beginning right now: Throw out/give away a lot in the next two weeks. Clothes, shoes, etc. I can do this I know I can! I just have to have a steady hand when it comes to letting go of things.
My name is Jessica and I am a packrat.
I just have so many memories in all kinds of different things, clothing, flowers, magazines, it's insane the type of things I have laying around. I believe I have a sticker from my first dentist visit when I was three, and it is a scratch and sniff, and it has never been moved out of its sticker book. I am not really proud of this habit, it may be the whole emotional sensitive imaginative memories issue that goes along with me being compassionate, things that I don't think are necessarilly terrible traits, to say the least, may even be desireable.
I just think it's the fact that I have detachment anxiety from any of these things. I can't throw anything out or give anything away. I may use that half used notebook someday, I may wear the six year old snow white shirt from eightth grade, it is just a hard thing to do for me, a lot of things mean a lot to me.
I suppose that goes with people too, I really care about the people I am friends with, and music. I link things together, I link memories with people and sensory scents and sounds. I cry a lot about the past because I loved so many things and people that are no longer here, but it is all about paying respect. My grandfather once reminded me of 'don't cry for me argentina,' while mourning for a recently past loved one, which basically told me that they wouldn't want me to be sad.
That's how I'm gonig to be when I am gone. Or what I want to happen, rather. I want to be remembered in these happy, strong days. I want people to have champagne and smile at my wake and funeral, not cry and listen to sad music. I won't demand a certain oasis song 'live forever' as a best friend of mine has, but I will not request people to spend the day being sad. No siree.
Now onto a little less depressing note, I am almost done my busy as hell summer, as of Saturday at around five or five thirty, I will be done my class and my work, and I will be ready to DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY. I intend to. Also, expect about a week's lapse in blogs starting friday, as I won't have internet from then until possibly next thursday. The blogs will, however, become interesting again. This is all means to rejoice.
Take a lot evening for me, cheers,
Jess :]
I am in the middle of studying for my music exam on saturday, and I am beginning to just rely on my gut instinct since most of it is music common sense, that I feel like I have. I spent the day at work, doing office-work related things, and then I moved a whole bunch of things into the house, and to be honest, I wish I didn't have so many things.
I hate it.
I don't hate the fact that I seem materialistic because I have so many things, because really, a lot of it is for my vision, or a bed, or essentials. It's just that there is so many things that I could probably do without... I have a personal goal that is beginning right now: Throw out/give away a lot in the next two weeks. Clothes, shoes, etc. I can do this I know I can! I just have to have a steady hand when it comes to letting go of things.
My name is Jessica and I am a packrat.
I just have so many memories in all kinds of different things, clothing, flowers, magazines, it's insane the type of things I have laying around. I believe I have a sticker from my first dentist visit when I was three, and it is a scratch and sniff, and it has never been moved out of its sticker book. I am not really proud of this habit, it may be the whole emotional sensitive imaginative memories issue that goes along with me being compassionate, things that I don't think are necessarilly terrible traits, to say the least, may even be desireable.
I just think it's the fact that I have detachment anxiety from any of these things. I can't throw anything out or give anything away. I may use that half used notebook someday, I may wear the six year old snow white shirt from eightth grade, it is just a hard thing to do for me, a lot of things mean a lot to me.
I suppose that goes with people too, I really care about the people I am friends with, and music. I link things together, I link memories with people and sensory scents and sounds. I cry a lot about the past because I loved so many things and people that are no longer here, but it is all about paying respect. My grandfather once reminded me of 'don't cry for me argentina,' while mourning for a recently past loved one, which basically told me that they wouldn't want me to be sad.
That's how I'm gonig to be when I am gone. Or what I want to happen, rather. I want to be remembered in these happy, strong days. I want people to have champagne and smile at my wake and funeral, not cry and listen to sad music. I won't demand a certain oasis song 'live forever' as a best friend of mine has, but I will not request people to spend the day being sad. No siree.
Now onto a little less depressing note, I am almost done my busy as hell summer, as of Saturday at around five or five thirty, I will be done my class and my work, and I will be ready to DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY. I intend to. Also, expect about a week's lapse in blogs starting friday, as I won't have internet from then until possibly next thursday. The blogs will, however, become interesting again. This is all means to rejoice.
Take a lot evening for me, cheers,
Jess :]
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
hopes and life long values, man
[two hundred, seventeen]
what's the deal with people, eh? I mean, let's be honest, we all aren't perfect, but some people could atleast try to be pleasant people. I don't think that emplowyers, lovers, friends, family, stranger, people passing by, the hobo on the train, or any other person that would ever come in contact with anyone would enjoy someone who is blatantly rude, unless however they were raised that way.
To each their own? Just learn the social norms. We all gotta, it's unfortunate and disappointing, but it sure is life.
I think I should start actually writing again, like dig the well into my imagination and finally release the trickle of characters and plots that are buried. I wish that more things could happen in the next four days then just studying and packing, but it is how it must be and therefor eI will do it. I will keep my shovel on the sehlf though, the immediate back burner. Honestly, the first thing I'm going to do when done work and classes on Saturday will probably be take a drink, dance, then sit down and get my thoughts straight. I will be in the new house, and therefore things will be...well, they'll be there, not necessarilly organised.
My favourite Beatles album is Sgt. Pepper's, but for the love of pete do I love their cover songs from the beginning! Have you ever heard "You've really got a hold on me" ? It is truly fantastic, I love it, listen to She & Him's cover as well, she's just got the pipes, man, man oh man, do I love altos.
I also love me some basses, but that's the choir me jumpin' up and down there.
I packed my vogue's today, and I realised that I am crazing, absolutely dying, for a European vogue, so I may look into either subscribing online on twitter or on a blog (ie tumblr, etc.) or to actually order on in from Italy or Russia, London. Can you imagine, Burberry, Givenchy, Wang couture in the flesh and blood pages! I have an obsession, it's all I want to do.
So anyways, I should go and actually pay attention to my music studying, because well it's sitting there talking to me and I'm kinda just smiling at it and nodding, yes, yes I hear you, as I look thorugh facebook pictures, bell Canada internet packages, conversations, emails, really anything to distract me. See, there it goes, assuming I'm listening.
Take care,
Jess :]
what's the deal with people, eh? I mean, let's be honest, we all aren't perfect, but some people could atleast try to be pleasant people. I don't think that emplowyers, lovers, friends, family, stranger, people passing by, the hobo on the train, or any other person that would ever come in contact with anyone would enjoy someone who is blatantly rude, unless however they were raised that way.
To each their own? Just learn the social norms. We all gotta, it's unfortunate and disappointing, but it sure is life.
I think I should start actually writing again, like dig the well into my imagination and finally release the trickle of characters and plots that are buried. I wish that more things could happen in the next four days then just studying and packing, but it is how it must be and therefor eI will do it. I will keep my shovel on the sehlf though, the immediate back burner. Honestly, the first thing I'm going to do when done work and classes on Saturday will probably be take a drink, dance, then sit down and get my thoughts straight. I will be in the new house, and therefore things will be...well, they'll be there, not necessarilly organised.
My favourite Beatles album is Sgt. Pepper's, but for the love of pete do I love their cover songs from the beginning! Have you ever heard "You've really got a hold on me" ? It is truly fantastic, I love it, listen to She & Him's cover as well, she's just got the pipes, man, man oh man, do I love altos.
I also love me some basses, but that's the choir me jumpin' up and down there.
I packed my vogue's today, and I realised that I am crazing, absolutely dying, for a European vogue, so I may look into either subscribing online on twitter or on a blog (ie tumblr, etc.) or to actually order on in from Italy or Russia, London. Can you imagine, Burberry, Givenchy, Wang couture in the flesh and blood pages! I have an obsession, it's all I want to do.
So anyways, I should go and actually pay attention to my music studying, because well it's sitting there talking to me and I'm kinda just smiling at it and nodding, yes, yes I hear you, as I look thorugh facebook pictures, bell Canada internet packages, conversations, emails, really anything to distract me. See, there it goes, assuming I'm listening.
Take care,
Jess :]
Monday, August 8, 2011
"the man who passed up the beatles"
[two hundred, sixteen[
Oh broad love, oh wide adoree,
I see the hills across the land they were calling out to me
to dance along as if Maria
and release everything, everything to the exterior paradise
of therefore, beyond, to be the one and only in a vast,
slow nothing-ness, slow central silence with fierce belonging,
finest humble, but a total stride, a strength in length,
and it was wide.
What are you world, lonely, among your noisy head?
Amidst your busy streets and your stone cold bed,
through the taverns loudly curdling the masses,
between the underways the slow ways and the shops,
the corporation capitalist beginners showing me nothing,
but i suppose you see, since you hug it softly,
hug it securely,
because if it left you would be gone.
Integration of the bindings of the yards in the villages,
it spins and invisible webs bind it
to the ground and the gravity connecting down and deep,
the world doesn't rest and the people are asleep,
the silent sleeping people recieve a soft strong hug
of the world realising worth and jewels are not enough
for wealth beauty power unless it recieves
that one important flower
blooming strong and fiercly.
Oh the booming brown and white and red and white and yellow,
the colours all around the world ignite together,
and the chapters and the chaples and the chaplin's red noses,
kick and scream and fight against the bright thorny
roses.
focus: calamity.
finally, I can speak.
Jess :]
Oh broad love, oh wide adoree,
I see the hills across the land they were calling out to me
to dance along as if Maria
and release everything, everything to the exterior paradise
of therefore, beyond, to be the one and only in a vast,
slow nothing-ness, slow central silence with fierce belonging,
finest humble, but a total stride, a strength in length,
and it was wide.
What are you world, lonely, among your noisy head?
Amidst your busy streets and your stone cold bed,
through the taverns loudly curdling the masses,
between the underways the slow ways and the shops,
the corporation capitalist beginners showing me nothing,
but i suppose you see, since you hug it softly,
hug it securely,
because if it left you would be gone.
Integration of the bindings of the yards in the villages,
it spins and invisible webs bind it
to the ground and the gravity connecting down and deep,
the world doesn't rest and the people are asleep,
the silent sleeping people recieve a soft strong hug
of the world realising worth and jewels are not enough
for wealth beauty power unless it recieves
that one important flower
blooming strong and fiercly.
Oh the booming brown and white and red and white and yellow,
the colours all around the world ignite together,
and the chapters and the chaples and the chaplin's red noses,
kick and scream and fight against the bright thorny
roses.
focus: calamity.
finally, I can speak.
Jess :]
Thursday, August 4, 2011
SHE'S A LOVER BABY AND A FIGHTER
[two hundred, thirteen]
Today was my last day with the kids at camp. I miss them already. Just a short one for this post, but there is a boy at camp who I really have gotten close to. Don't get me wrong, I'm close to them all, but this boy is just comfortable with me and I calm him down. He gave me a hug today, telling me that he is going to miss me. He told me a couple weeks ago and that I'm beautiful. He wasn't making a move, he is completely blind, and hasn't seen anything in his entire life, and it meant a lot to me that he said that. Today he hugged me, and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. He said sorry right after, and I hugged him again and said it was okay. I'm going to miss him so much, just because his little smiling face has taught me to believe in so much more than I already do. To be positive, and to smile everyday because it is so important to just keep your head up, and I told him that everyday. "I want to see your smiling face" and there he was, brightly shining smile up at me. I fell in love with his smile, and I am going to miss him so much.
love,
Jess :[
Today was my last day with the kids at camp. I miss them already. Just a short one for this post, but there is a boy at camp who I really have gotten close to. Don't get me wrong, I'm close to them all, but this boy is just comfortable with me and I calm him down. He gave me a hug today, telling me that he is going to miss me. He told me a couple weeks ago and that I'm beautiful. He wasn't making a move, he is completely blind, and hasn't seen anything in his entire life, and it meant a lot to me that he said that. Today he hugged me, and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. He said sorry right after, and I hugged him again and said it was okay. I'm going to miss him so much, just because his little smiling face has taught me to believe in so much more than I already do. To be positive, and to smile everyday because it is so important to just keep your head up, and I told him that everyday. "I want to see your smiling face" and there he was, brightly shining smile up at me. I fell in love with his smile, and I am going to miss him so much.
love,
Jess :[
four for toonie luck tuesday
[two hundred, twelve]
ADVICE FOR MEN:
Since I've had a little experience in the department of relationships, I thought I'd write my wisdom down. Where else better than in a place where my readers are dominantly female (and, well, myself only counted in that count). So here goes nothing! Maybe just relationship adive in general, so, scratch the first heading:
ADVICE FOR PEOPLE WHO WANT TO BE IN LOVE:
I guess that's a little better.
Gifts don't have to be expensive or gorgeous or unique, they can be anything, and they don't need to be given on any special occaision. Flowers go both ways sometimes. Say thank you. If you're not interesting, respectful, fun, uplifting, positive, passionate, talkative, excited, or any other expected mood, then they won't be. Do what they want sometimes. You are right and you're wrong, there's never a constant. Know what you want, and believe in it strongly. Everyone likes a tiger, gentle and strong.
Just some things I guess. I don't demand rings, but if it's a commitment you better act like it.
So anyways, that's just be rambling about thoughts on relationships and things, and advice I guess? I'm terrible at advice. Just do what you like and be nice about it, don't have anything holding you back, take risks because you never know what's going to happen, who's out there, and who you'll meet. You could meet the love of your life in a Starbucks.
love, always,
Jess :]
ADVICE FOR MEN:
Since I've had a little experience in the department of relationships, I thought I'd write my wisdom down. Where else better than in a place where my readers are dominantly female (and, well, myself only counted in that count). So here goes nothing! Maybe just relationship adive in general, so, scratch the first heading:
ADVICE FOR PEOPLE WHO WANT TO BE IN LOVE:
I guess that's a little better.
Gifts don't have to be expensive or gorgeous or unique, they can be anything, and they don't need to be given on any special occaision. Flowers go both ways sometimes. Say thank you. If you're not interesting, respectful, fun, uplifting, positive, passionate, talkative, excited, or any other expected mood, then they won't be. Do what they want sometimes. You are right and you're wrong, there's never a constant. Know what you want, and believe in it strongly. Everyone likes a tiger, gentle and strong.
Just some things I guess. I don't demand rings, but if it's a commitment you better act like it.
So anyways, that's just be rambling about thoughts on relationships and things, and advice I guess? I'm terrible at advice. Just do what you like and be nice about it, don't have anything holding you back, take risks because you never know what's going to happen, who's out there, and who you'll meet. You could meet the love of your life in a Starbucks.
love, always,
Jess :]
five for monday MONDAY monday!
[two hundred, twelve]
I was teaching a boy at camp how to understand puns yesterday, and he made up the BEST one:
I was trying to write about pigs, but they were stuck in the pen.
I DIED. This kid is SEVEN and he thought of that all on his own! I have such faith in humanity now, I want to be the most positive, high-five-y person on the planet. Personal note to self: Read the NEW YORK TIMES everyday. It is uplifting and enriching to know you're not the only one alive in the world, you know.
I have to write a bunch of these today before my world politics exam, and I'm a little nervous but at the same time excited to just get it over with. This time tomorrow? I'm going to be still at work, but I'm going to be getting ready to go to the bank and the lcbo, and then finally, to Niagara falls! Good weekend comin' up!!
love,
Jess :]
I was teaching a boy at camp how to understand puns yesterday, and he made up the BEST one:
I was trying to write about pigs, but they were stuck in the pen.
I DIED. This kid is SEVEN and he thought of that all on his own! I have such faith in humanity now, I want to be the most positive, high-five-y person on the planet. Personal note to self: Read the NEW YORK TIMES everyday. It is uplifting and enriching to know you're not the only one alive in the world, you know.
I have to write a bunch of these today before my world politics exam, and I'm a little nervous but at the same time excited to just get it over with. This time tomorrow? I'm going to be still at work, but I'm going to be getting ready to go to the bank and the lcbo, and then finally, to Niagara falls! Good weekend comin' up!!
love,
Jess :]
five for sunday
[two hundred, eleven]
Wow I've been writing this for a long time. I feel like I don't put my own thoughts and feelings into this anymore. Have I mentioned that I have lost all of my music off of my computer so I am scared to connect my ipod in case it deletes everything, so come the time of my finishing work and classes which is in exactly eight days, I will have a moment or two to download those programs that re-sync from my ipod, and I can once again enjoy actual music on my computer, not just the radio.
Don't get me wrong, this itunes radio business is helpful. I can't change the song and knowing that consciously makes me want to listen to whatever song is actually on. I can keep it on and not have to worry about shuffle, and also the embarassing songs on my itunes that I would skip over or the instrumental ones are cut out. It's like it knows my preferences. You'd think my physical ipod would have that, ha-ha.
This post is for sunday, because I've been exhausted into an oblivion so much this week that there hasn't even been a short moment to pop onto the computer. I feel spread thin, very thin, and as of tonight I will be even thinner (I wish).
Take care,
Jess :]
Wow I've been writing this for a long time. I feel like I don't put my own thoughts and feelings into this anymore. Have I mentioned that I have lost all of my music off of my computer so I am scared to connect my ipod in case it deletes everything, so come the time of my finishing work and classes which is in exactly eight days, I will have a moment or two to download those programs that re-sync from my ipod, and I can once again enjoy actual music on my computer, not just the radio.
Don't get me wrong, this itunes radio business is helpful. I can't change the song and knowing that consciously makes me want to listen to whatever song is actually on. I can keep it on and not have to worry about shuffle, and also the embarassing songs on my itunes that I would skip over or the instrumental ones are cut out. It's like it knows my preferences. You'd think my physical ipod would have that, ha-ha.
This post is for sunday, because I've been exhausted into an oblivion so much this week that there hasn't even been a short moment to pop onto the computer. I feel spread thin, very thin, and as of tonight I will be even thinner (I wish).
Take care,
Jess :]
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
I can't remember where I'm supposed to be at
[two hundred, eleven]
PLEASE STOP WITH YOUR ACCUSING EYES, I WANT TO WATCH DIRTY DANCING, DO YOU KNOW THAT SONG IS AN RNB NOW? MAN, COME ON, I JUST WANT A CUPCAKE FINGERS TOO.
Cupcake fingers?
I'm so tired, and I need to actually go and study now. I miss my blog, I miss talking to it like it listens. I know that nobody reads it but me, and I miss hugging the blog everyday, telling it to take care or to cheers. If there was any way that I could continue tonight I would, I would, really, but I think I'm going to have to go and study. Studying is like being drowned, it's like when you stand in the middle of a lake and dunk your head, just a dip, and then let all the breathing out of your lungs and you sit there thinking man I could stand up but I can't because I have to be here, drowning myself.
Is that just me? I think it's the lonely wheezes, they tell me to jump in the lake.
I am not a schizo, I don't have actual voices in my head, if there are any voices in my head they belong to my Great Grandpa and Neville Longbottom, so, I dunno, you deduce whatever you like, I'm going to stand in the lake now, to take a dip.
Study my bum off.
love,
Jess :]
PLEASE STOP WITH YOUR ACCUSING EYES, I WANT TO WATCH DIRTY DANCING, DO YOU KNOW THAT SONG IS AN RNB NOW? MAN, COME ON, I JUST WANT A CUPCAKE FINGERS TOO.
Cupcake fingers?
I'm so tired, and I need to actually go and study now. I miss my blog, I miss talking to it like it listens. I know that nobody reads it but me, and I miss hugging the blog everyday, telling it to take care or to cheers. If there was any way that I could continue tonight I would, I would, really, but I think I'm going to have to go and study. Studying is like being drowned, it's like when you stand in the middle of a lake and dunk your head, just a dip, and then let all the breathing out of your lungs and you sit there thinking man I could stand up but I can't because I have to be here, drowning myself.
Is that just me? I think it's the lonely wheezes, they tell me to jump in the lake.
I am not a schizo, I don't have actual voices in my head, if there are any voices in my head they belong to my Great Grandpa and Neville Longbottom, so, I dunno, you deduce whatever you like, I'm going to stand in the lake now, to take a dip.
Study my bum off.
love,
Jess :]
TEN FOR ME
[two hundred, ten]
The waves right, they were slow, and they were cold and things but really man did you blame them when they started? It's like getting lost in a place where you love, the places that you love are the best places because the times that you are there wait, I got lost. I mean if you look out at the sun, and you wear the sunglasses, and you jump in and run with the tennis ballers and the frog jumpin' leaps, I wish that people could see it. What, please focus on me, please read me like a book like the sunset, the sunset and the pink sky. Do you see it? It's up there and things right and I looked and laughed a lot, because I'm down here and it's up there, and I miss it.
focus: thoughts of a lonely searcher
Jess
The waves right, they were slow, and they were cold and things but really man did you blame them when they started? It's like getting lost in a place where you love, the places that you love are the best places because the times that you are there wait, I got lost. I mean if you look out at the sun, and you wear the sunglasses, and you jump in and run with the tennis ballers and the frog jumpin' leaps, I wish that people could see it. What, please focus on me, please read me like a book like the sunset, the sunset and the pink sky. Do you see it? It's up there and things right and I looked and laughed a lot, because I'm down here and it's up there, and I miss it.
focus: thoughts of a lonely searcher
Jess
six to zero in one day..
[two hundred, nine]
What are you expecting really? I hate when people don't understand the things that you say. Like I usually try to say things, but they never come out properly, and my thoughts don't make sense. That happens in essays, then I get a crap mark...
I have an exam tomorrow, and I'm terrified, and I'm kind of stressed out why I'm writing six or seven blogs all today, maybe I should put this off a bit more... I feel bad for not being caught up, but I've been so freakin' busy with work and school and the beach, that I've had to put it off.
I had the best weekend ever.
love,
Jess :]
What are you expecting really? I hate when people don't understand the things that you say. Like I usually try to say things, but they never come out properly, and my thoughts don't make sense. That happens in essays, then I get a crap mark...
I have an exam tomorrow, and I'm terrified, and I'm kind of stressed out why I'm writing six or seven blogs all today, maybe I should put this off a bit more... I feel bad for not being caught up, but I've been so freakin' busy with work and school and the beach, that I've had to put it off.
I had the best weekend ever.
love,
Jess :]
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