inhabit

[one hundred, thirteen]

Easter and stuff, that whole shabang, I've been pre-occupied by family things instead of focusing on relaxing and everything. The holiday as it is called is more of a religious focus in some families, in others, such as my own, we get together eat a big meal drink a lot and then talk loudly and eat chocolate. I'm not complaining, I just don't see it as a holiday, I guess.

I figured that I would move my room and clean it thoroughly when I unpacked, and so today I took the whole day and unpacked, cleaned, threw out everything, and now I'm in an empty room with a different position of furniture and there is no crap, no garbage, no anything around my feet. It feels fantastic, it feels fresh, and it is a wonderful way to start a summer, clean. I like that, because this summer will be different than all of the others. I'm not going to be with a significant other, I'm not going to be in school until June, I'm not going to be working at the beach, I'm not going to be illegally drinking. I'm going to be better, happier, healthier, friendlier, and best of all, satisfied.

I have started reading a book I got at christmas and haven't had time for. It's friggen fantastic, I love it, I read a bit in the sun in the backyard today, then came inside for a nap. I love life right now, even though I'm a little lonely for the time being. After living in close proximity with fifty other people for eight months, then moving back toa house of five where your friends live a drive away isntead just down the hall is a bit of a twilight zone change, but it'll be okay. I'm focusing on being happy, and productive, and relaxing and healthy and just smiling all day long. That's the focus, that's how it's going to be from now on.

But I still want things to be okay for everyone else too, and as I write this my friends are texting and favebooking and tumblring me, and I am feeling bad not responding. I can't let them wait, because I can't wait to talk to them. I feel needed again, and I needed to feel that someone eneded me. That seems selfish, but it's a matter of happiness, the prupose of life.

"We gotta go out some damn way!" thought I'd share words of wisdom from my grandfather as he was talking about his own funeral, :)

Take care!

Jess :]