fin

[ninety three]

I finished my large, fifteen page paper on wine today. This is a time of celebration, folks!

On another note, I just realised that I feel like eating. I don't just feel like eating because I am bored or frustrated, stressed, tired, lonely, or any of the other excuses anyone uses. I truly want to just sit down and have a good meal with some good people, and not spend a whole lot of money on it, and I'd kind of like it if it included chicken wings, and mashed potatoes.

That's something kind of secret about us at school. My friends and I love mashed potatoes, and I think they like it for different reasons, but the other potatoes do suck so it makes sense. We only have mashed potatoes at home if we are having a special meal, or if someone specifically requests it. I learned how to make them earlier this year because I wanted to help, and it is really fun for me to make and eat food, not necisarilly in that order.

I think that food is important to me because of growing up and having family dinners. We would sit down and say "How was everybody's day?" and then everyone would answer, and even though it usually only took ten to fifteen minutes for the fast-eaters of my family (everyone) to finish their meal, we would have a conversation about our days and what we were doing that night, and we would thank my dad and mom for making it, and tell them it was good, and then clean our plates and continue on with our evenings.

It's a lot different here.

Here, we eat what we want sort of, and we go as a big group, and we grab a tray and a drink and sit together and talk and laugh. Usually it's a joking fest, but sometimes we have conversations and it is so nice. Sometimes we all sit quietly, and that's so weird to me, because I am so used to conversation at dinner, but sometimes it really is nice. I love my floormates, I'm writing about them so much because it really isn't that long until I move out of residence, and these little things are things I'm going to miss.

I also miss having take out food with my family. When we went through the Mickey D's drive thru, we always turned off the music or movie we were watching, my sister and I would take out our headphones, and we would all sit in the car togheter and eat and still thank our parents for our dinners, and eat, and talk, and it was genuine a dinner thing, and I actually loved it. We do that for everywhere we take out food, or eat in general. If we are having a sit donw meal together, we are talking over it, regardless if it is negative or positive or in the van or at anyone's house, we are eating and talking.

I think that's why I talk so much... and eat so much.

I am so used to sharing and loving and talking, and here it is so different from not sharing and having everything to myself that when I go home I embrace the sharing and give my brother everything, and I kind of over-expect him to share things with me as well. I do it to my sister too, but we usually do that anyway. My brother is little so he kind of understands the importance of sharing, I gotta remind him sometimes though.

This was a post mainly showing how much I'm going to miss it here, and how I miss my home at home. I believe people can have more than one home, or a place that makes you feel at home, it's a matter of comfortable-ness and originality. Also, if you love it, it's probably your home.

So if you have a home, or multiple homes, or no home, I hope you love where you are and are living every moment. I realised the other day that someday I won't be breathing anymore, and I wish that I could just breathe forever, until I die, and then continue on. Breathing is so calming, and loving, I feel like I love my body when I breathe because I am giving it life. I want to feel alive.

Have a lovely evening,

Jess :]