I'm in the sand

[ninety seven]

My summer goals: tv series, jane austen books, take more pictures of everywhere, learn the roads in Guelph/wloo, keep my nails long, only spend a certain amnt on booze, see my school friends once a month, see my home friends three times a week, see my beach friends all weekend, don’t eat chips/chocolate just freezies/ice cream sometimes, call grandma every week, train to Toronto/Niagara, get the tattoo, give away clothes, spend time outside, lots of time, teach something to kyle, save money, read everything, walk.

A rough list of things I gotta stick to this summer, things I want to do now may be different from what I want to do later... But I'm going to try to stick to that as much as possible. I don't like starting things and then not finishing them, therefore I won't stop the blog either, they just may be staggered days when I can't get to a computer or something.

So one thing that is so irritating is when I begin to say something, and the person I am talking to neglects whatever I am saying, and completely starts another conversation with someone else about something totally different. Ignoring, basically. I don't like to be rude and say anything, but when I say things I expect that friends will listen, because I know my audience, and I know that they care. It's disheartening when this happens on a daily basis, and it happens from more than like three people I know. It's so wonderful, great even, for the self esteem, and inevitably convinces me to stop talking altogether.

So I've begun doing that, just sitting back, letting silence take over, because I know when I talk, no one listens, they just wait for their turn to talk. And in most cases, they just talk right over me anyway, so why bother? I'm not worth listening to anyway, I tell everyone the same stories, I tell too many, and their pointless.

So if you have stories to tell, I'll listen to you. As much as I love to tell stories, I love hearing a good story myself. Sometimes I talk so fast that I can't get all my words right, and one of my biggest pet peeves is having to repeat myself a hundred fucking times to the same people over and over...

So anyways, I'm going to go study now. I'm so happy that everyone else in the world had a wonderful day, because for the next two weeks I'm not going to be having any good days, just good moments. I love good moments. I miss being happy all the time, but that's just how it is. I actually don't mind being down, because when I'm down I can reflect and stuff, I just wanted things to be different. That's my motto these days apparently, I wish things were either different or more in my favour.

Take care,

Jess :]