[seventy eight]
Do you like Eric Clapton? Have you ever seen yourself reflected back to you in someone else? Is it white or black? Does the world actually revolve around one person? Is the sun big, or is it just my eyes again? Do you like kittens or cats? Should I use bleed through markers? Is it actually hotel california? Are brown bag lunches efficient? Can you love someone and let them go? Who pinned this to my door? Am I a real person? Do you live in a dollhouse? Who is Barbie? What is style, exactly? Are you greedy? Do you live? Is it the truth or is everyone just playing a part in a play for their entire life? Who is God? Should everything be related back to relgion, politics, and love? Can I change?
I felt like asking a lot of questions today, some of them I've actually thought about a lot, one I didn't ask was about getting out of bed, and if time is real. One of my biggest fears in life is running out of time, so if you know me at all, you'll know I plan a lot of my life, but I plan for apontanuity as well. I want to live in the moment, but if I don't get everything done, anziety sets in. I don't know if this is healthy, or if I have this balanced enough, but it's a question I don't focus on all that much, because it is a fear of mine... I wish things were different sometimes, and other times, IN FATE WE TRUST.
Unless you hate the world, you're going to have a purpose in life.
And if you don't know what your purpose is yet, or ever, then it seems like it is worth more than knowing. Because if you know what your purpose is, then you are just living, striving, for that one thing. If you have no idea, and you do it without thinking about it, then it is a search that drives the forces of your fate, not yourself. I feel like I have an idea of what my purpose is, but that brings up the other question, what if you think it is one thing, but it really isn't at all?
Have you ever truly hated question marks? When you major in english, you learn to hate punctuation, especially if you're a writer. I love semi-colons, and I almost make it a goal of mine to use them frequently, but it is hard to use them at any time, and therefore misuse is common. I hate grammar, and I hat epunctuation, and as a writer, I lovingly get to make up my own, semi-judicial rules on both of these things. I love being a writer, I love writing, I love reading.
In order to love writing, you have to love reading.
Where else would you learn your shit? You don't got your shit down pat unless you really know what you're talking about. That's why I dislike BS sometimes, because most of the time, you don't know shit all of what you're talking about.
I looked inside myself today and found something that I love, and I will never let it go. My fic of the day is holding on to things. I want to have memories and thoughts forever, things that will keep my fire burning, for the rest of my life. Stoke the fire, roast the marshmallows, let the embers burn while you cherish the time that you spend with your memories. I love my mind, and no one will ever understand how much or why.
So, if you have any connection to anything I've mentioned today, I hope that you are having a wonderful Sunday, and that school doesn't stress you out too much, or the world isn't pressing down too hard, because it really isn't that bad. And if it is, then just think: You are incredible. And never forget to breathe, that sucks, forgetting that little tidbit of life, continue to breathe, and life will go on. Breathing is the key.
Love always,
Jess :]
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