they crawl, crawl on down, down to the wire

[eighty five]

I haven't worked on my play in a really long time, so I don't know how well it's going to go when I try to work on it tomorrow, but I atleast hope it doesn't suck. I don't really know what to write about today, hopefully something fantastic, but I am doubting that hope. Hope is a funny thing, because it's always there when you need it, but never really comes through for you until you don't. You can hope for a snow day, but then it won't come. It will come the day of your exam, or the day you can't be late again or you fail. Hope is a silly thing, it's a figment, really.

I hope for life in fragments,
never hoping as a whole,
in pieces my hope is determined
determined to track down and tag team
to puzzle and to forge together
my hope runs deep,
and it never sleeps

I think that my style of poetry is dumb, because I read other poetry, and I really think that my mind comes out when I write poetry. You can see my direction of thoughts and how I got to certain conclusions through my poetry, and usually it sucks or isn't very concise, and doesn't make a lot of sense. I think that sometimes I don't think enough when I write poetry, and sometimes, when you're not thinking, you make the most sense.

But usually in my case my poetry just sucks.

So anyways, I have been working all weekend on a twelve page paper that I have finally finished writing today, and I will be working on an english final paper tonight, and then tomorrow I'm taking it easy and reading a play and working on my own play. Then I will have some other work to do eventually, but lately it hasn't been such extensinve, intensive study work that I've been going through for the past little while. I have more time to focus on my sanity, something I value very deeply when finals come around in less than a month.

So if you need some hope today, I'll hope for you, because it's easier to have someone hope for you and that hope to be successful, then hoping for yourself. It isn't selfish, but it never seems to work. Believing, that's a whole different story.

Take care,

Jess :]