[seventy three]
I was thinking today how unbelievably happy and how terribly sad I was, all in the same emotion, and what I would call it on here. To be honest, I have no idea, because it hurts and feels great at the same time. There's a couple different reasons why and I will keep those to myself, but for the most part, I've just had a lot of time to think today, and unfortunately I won't be sharing a lot of those thoughts here.
But, I will share, that it means a lot to me, just a couple words, or one word, from one person, and if you say one word the right way, then it changes everything. Say you put the wrong emphasis while asking someone to marry you, WILL you marry me, sounds a little desperate, whereas will YOU marry me sounds a bit more personal, a lot less general, and a pinch more meaningful. I don`t mean to say I had a marriage proposal today, but I do mean that in conversation passing emphasis was given, and said, in the right way, in order to positively charge my mood.
I don`t know much about the brain, but I`m beginning to wonder why the hell I`m stuck with headaches everyday, and I don`t know much about the stomach, but why am I always nauseousÉ And I don`t know much about feet, but two days after you wear fancy shoes you shouldn`t be in this much pain.
Other things on my mind today: I am regretting to announce that I believe my insomnia has returned, and I am welcoming it back with the same enthusiasm as the plague. Not only are my stress levels through all four floors in my residence but way past the roof, passing by the clouds and heaven the o-zone and the atmosphere, but I`m pretty sure galaxies far away are picking up radiation from my stress. I think that in order for me to get back, this spring forward deal needs to calm down, and maybe I need to take a little chill pill placebo as well.
As for my morale, it seems to be alright, I mean, I`m sick of people in general mainly myself, and I`m sick of having to do work all day erryday, but, I can deal, because I get an extra long summer, and I am waiting for the days in May where I`m going to spend them in my back yard with a book in a bikini tanning and sipping probably a cold beer, but in my mind I like to pretend it`s a cosmopolitan :D
I wish there was a blogspot equivelant for the little man with sunglasses, the cool dude smiley, c`mon MSN kids, you know it.
So anyway, I have nothing else to rant about today, this hasn`t been much of a rant as more of a diary post, but to be hoenst, I`ve spent four hours of my day finishing a novel about Dublin, and the other half of my day writing a scene for six, which has not been turning out wonderfully, and I am just too tired to even want to attempt to rant about it.
I am too tired to complain.
I just want some smooth sailing, some surfin`USA, some baby please come home, I wish it was Christmas, or atleast Canada Day, so that I could see some fireworks and dance, my new two favourite things. On a totally high good note, I found the song that I love today that I could enver remember, BLACK WATER-the doobie brothers. Check it out, and while you listen, think of my smilin`face doin`a boogie with the doobie-bro`s, because that is what I am dreamin`for, baby.
So yeah, sweet dreams if you can sleep, sweet starin`at the ceiling if you can`t, and if you can, you suck, just sayin`.
Love always and forever and for all those who need some love, take it,
Jess :)
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