69...

[sixty nine]

Hold me closer and you'll feel no pain.

I think it may just be me, but I have this strong belief in impromptu emotional times, times where I need to just be sensitive and chaotic in my mind and with feelings. I feel like more people need to crack open the bottle in their soul and let other people in or out or whatever they need. I could guess that I am that one person for a lot of my friends that they talk to to just talk it out... I listen, I drink it in, and then I help duct tape the bottle back together for future use. Don't bottle it up, smash it open, and someone'll be there to help put the pieces back together again.

That is also a trust issue I feel like I have people who I can talk to about some things, and other things I feel alone. I feel like that bottle is in a dark room, and I can't find it to break open, but it keeps growing in the time lapse that I can't get my hands on it. I wish that I could see a little more, or that I had a little light to lead me to that bottle on those days... Some days things come, and other days I'm left to be lost until I crawl into the borner, and find the throbbing thing to shatter on the floor of my mind.

Deep.

So on a higher, but mentally equal note, I think that everyone should take a breather, go out and buy themselves some new panties and shoes, and pry open their inner secrets. Address those once in a while. I wrote a little while ago about a shoebox that I put my regrets in and my repressive thoughts that stay in my mind and just sit there, I address those from time to time and accept them, and hang them in my closet. I have to trust you a helluva lot for you to have a fashion show of repression, but my mind is a lot like a destruction zone, I'm still waiting for the UN to come and air lift me out of my misery.

Back to being depressing again, I'm trying to lift this up.

So, if you're in a hard place, in the back corner of the dark room, plug in the Spongebob night light and let the soft light lead you on. If you happen to not like loveable high pitched sponges, mine is a colour changing snowflake, no joke, that my mommy bought me after my last surgery on my eyes. I plugged it in in my room at home and I don't think I've unplugged it since. It keeps me at home, it keeps me safe. It's my own personal dreamcatcher, it is my believer.

Tomorrow is a lazidazy day, I'm an honourary tour guide and then off to the movies so I'll find a minute to drop a couple lines for ya, have a lovely evening!

Love always,

Jess :]