Golden Years, oooh

[eighty]

Doug: She just made me some coffee and asked about ym day, and I coughed a bit, see, and I thought that maybe she'd look away and ignore it, but she didn't. That woman misses nothing, and so I drank a bit and looked at her, 'cause maybe then she missed it, but she didn't, she caught me red there breathin' away, and I wheezed a little, and she looked at me all cross, and I kinda smiled all weakly and tried to laugh but I coughed again, and this time I dropped the mug off the table and it shattered with the hot coffee all over and she jumped a little see, and I was thinkin' I'd wake up the kid in the other room, so I got down to help her clean it... I tried, you know? I tried to be there for her with Janie, I tried to be there to raise the kid, but I'm not good with them, I never wanted them, Bea never wanted them, Janie was... Our mistake. And I guess little Jake's her mistake, and I guess I love Jake, because she's like a little piece of forgiveness in this house, because when I got up to help clean the mug she yelled at me to sit back down, and by then I was coughin'... and when she was done she wiped her hands and sat beside me, and took my hand and said that she'd never ever forget to love me, and I guess that when we got married, she'd never forget to love me or anything... I sometimes think she only loves me when the kids are around, 'cause then she doesn't have to focus on them...

Beatrice: Doug likes his coffee black, and that's all fine and everything, but I mean, it's got no substance, it has not even a little bit of milk or sugar or nothing, just straight black no background no heart... So I make it for him, and he's not doing so well these days, he's sick, he's always coughing all through the night and the last time the doctor said that he'd have to take some sort of injections, like a needle, and I said I loved him and all but I wasn't going to be giving him a needle everyday, I couldn't do that! And then he told me that and started coughin' and he dropped the red mug, the one from Niagara that we bought on our honeymoon, and I thought that I'd about cry 'cause then it was all over the floor, and he tried to help but I shuffled him away what he's wheezing and coughin' I mean, I'm the lady I'll clean you sit there and watch me pick up the pieces.. It's a work of a saint the kid didn't come runnin' in, screamin' about nightmares or some shit just to be involved, sometimes I feel like she's just her mother dressed up to haunt me again, and I never really...I never really cared that much about it, about an upbringing or that care, that heart Janie's, Janie was a kid, she was a brat, and Doug did shit all to help... and I didn't want her, I didn't want no one... Then I met Doug and I wanted him, and then we had Janie and I suppose I wanted her but.. I think that he sat down and calmed down after I cleaned the mug, but he was probably coughin' still 'cause that's all he does, cough and smoke. You'd think that if I had to get injections into him it'd be impossible 'cause he wouldn't be able to stop shakin' from all the coughin'... I miss the days when we could sit together on the veranda and just talk, or sit and he'd read me the paper, and we'd not have to worry about the war or Janie's kid or the kid...I think he smokes now 'cause of his job, 'cause it stresses him.. I pray he never has to read a name of our neighbours or Margie's boys or.. the kid'd never come up, she's too much of a brat to get sent back here in a box...

Jennie: Grandpa was all coughin' see, and I was thinkin' that maybe I'd have to go help like I do sometimes in the radio room, but I didn't, 'cause I was supposed to be sleeping, so I did I layed in my bed, and I was thinking that I should get up and atleast shut the door, but then I heard something crash and I jumped a lot and froze 'cause I thought they were angry or somethin', well, I thought Nan was angry, 'cause she's always angry see... She always is telling me to pick up my toys and hurry up, I don't do nothing really bad ever.. Grandpa told me, that he'd teach me how to race the duckies in the back pond in the summer and I said that'd be just fine... I dreamt the other night about... In my dream, there was no pond, just Ma' and the birds in the back, and she came to me, and I was crying 'cause she was crying, and I don't know why, 'cause I didn't think it was a dream, so I thought if Ma's crying then I should cry... I heard Grandpa start coughing again and then they were talking but I couldn't hear them so I turned over, and I fell...fell...back asleep...

These are just monologues that I just wrote today on this blog to kinda get more into some characters that need a little work, they need more work, but I think this stuff shows the dynamic of Bea and Doug, who equate to Nan and Grandpa respectively, and Jennie is 'the kid' referred to, and there is no monologue from Janie, but that's an implied gesture by the playwright (MOI) so pick up on that! Just an exervise, needed to get some thoughts out.

Take care,

Jess :]