Sunday, January 30, 2011

you take me the way I am

[thirty]

I hate stress. I hate realising that all I ever do is work and stress about doing readings. I hate that I have hardly any time for myself anymore... I wrote an earlier post about making time for yourself and breaks and such. I guess lately I've been taking breaks to spend time with people and not do any work... I have most of it under control, but its still daunting to have on my shoulders.

So I write in a calendor notebook that lets me organise the work and time spent with others, and I feel like there's never time for me. I never write "just relax by yourself" and I wish I didn't have to, I wish the hour between schoolwork and dinner could be that, but there's always something that I either forgot or that has just come up.

Which is life, things are unpredictable and priorities take the wheel and shuffle relaxation and peace of mind to the back seat. I don't feel like its fair, but I guess thats just what I have to deal with. I think that if everyone took a little bit more time by themselves and spending time doing a hobby or something nice by themselves they would be even a margin happier.

Now I sound anti-social.

I'm now, I just enjoy doing my own thing sometimes. Once a day I'd like to watch a half hour show or read a magazine just for fun. Sometimes the schoolwork isn't so bad, I can take an hour and write for playwriting class and that is actually enjoyable. But most of the things seem tedious and cause headaches.

This is a rant about time management, not about my lack of motivation to do work. I don't mind doing work, but I've been having a stressful week and things have just been consequently bringing me down. I need that alone time, and that alone time just isn't coming.

So I hope that if you're feeling the clamps of stress on your being that you find some wiggle room, and spend a half hour doing what you want. I dare you. I'm going to try!

Have a wonderful evening, I'm spending it doing some research and reading.

Love,

Jess :]

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