I'm standing here until you make me move

[thirteen]

Does anyone have insomnia anymore? I almost feel like insomnia doesn't exist in a world where cities can be alive throughout the night, and the greater population are busy beavers for a living. I feel like honest insomnia is only implanted on those with either immense amounts of stress, or the unlucky few that just are graced with the presence of the anti-sand-man, who is not a loveable man in pajamas who sprinkles dust on your eyelids in the dark. No, the anti-sandman is a fat, rugged-looking man with bruises for eyes who drops bricks of thoughts on your head while you try to fall asleep.

I, knock on wood, have not had insomnia for a month now, and I don't know why it stopped but its gone now, and I hope to high heaven that it stays on holiday for atleast a while longer. I believe that sleeping is an incredible way to let out creativity, and when I lose that time my thoughts are a mixed drink of fiction droplets and reality. The inception-effect comes into play where there is no lines of reality or borders of truth, there is just plain perception and inferences. Which, in a dream-like state when your dreams are routinely vivid, is terrifying.

So staying awake all night may not have that many perks, but one may very well be that it is beautiful at night. The problem with that is however that whenever I have insomnia I spend the majority of that night trying desperately to shake off the running tap of thoughts in my head and sleep. This never works, and I find myself frustrated and exhausted come morning, and this just makes the serene stars and dark night outside my window more of a mocking smirk rather than the beautiful sight that it is.

So if you battle insomnia aswell, I wish you luck tonight trying to fall asleep. If you lay your head on the pillow and it is instand slumber, don't take that for granted. Lately I've been dream manipulating and having a splendor of odd ball thoughts, mostly to do with school and relationships. If dreams don't come easilly to you, I almost think you're missing out. My dreams are my favourite part of sleep, honest.

So have a good night, I have only one class tomorrow so it wil be spent with most relaxation.

Jess :]