hot blooded

check it and see,

[sixteen]

Although it is the middle of winter and temperatures outside of my window range from negative ten to twenty I have been finding myself sweating inside my window. The only thing keeping me from gallavanting around in short shorts and a tank top, is that everyone will think I'm nuts. The heater in my room is somewhat on the fritz, and although I freeze whenever I leave it, I still persistantly wearing no socks, boxer shorts, and my hair is frequently off of my shoulders.

It seems so weird to be so warm during the winter, especially in such weather that mittens, scarves, and possibly long-john's are required. I have this feeling that my entire being is out of whack, and I believe it all started with this darned heat. I wake up sweating, but take a shower and freeze. I sit here writing in shorts but when I leave I put on a sweater. I am supposed to be curled up with tea in slippers with a good book (or those required in my English courses), but alas, I find myself nearly exposed, opening my windows even, to let the heat back off and the chilly weather beyond my window slip into my being.

But my body temperature isn't the only thing that is bothering me. I feel very dull. My life over the Christmas break was full of not necessarilly that exciting of things, but more things than just class readings and blogs...No offense. I mean, when I am with my friends these worries blend in with the background, but when I sit alone with my thoughts I just know that something isn't right. I haven't found my niche, my passion, what I am meant to do here, and I can't help but think I'm missing something.

I am content with the relationships in my life, I'm getting just the right things from just the right people, and I am "chilling" as I previously stated as a resolution... I have been really enjoying my classes, and the coursework and readings aren't as bad as I thought they would be... There is something that I am missing here, and I haven't been able to work it out. It isn't like I am ever bored or sit around with nothing to do, but I feel like my time could be spent with other things, or something else could be more worth while, while I sit here and read through facebook posts, I realise that my life shouldn't base around an online networking website.

Something's gotta give.

So I am on a quest for something passionate. Something hot--but not the temperature in my room. I almost prefer the cold, especially with the winter weather blistering outside. I am going to make it my top priority (well, maybe third after a monologue and finishing a play), and then I will update this. Everyone needs a little heat once in a while, maybe mine's just an overdose.

So I hope everyone has a wonderful night, I plan on wishing a Happy Birthday to a certain mc-poster-lovin' friend of mine, and then off to bed early to recover from a long, but well spent weekend.

Take care,

Jess :]