its snowing

PTHREE HUNDRED, THIRTY-SEVEN]

wow that was in caps, but the message is clear! It is snowing outside, and I am stuck inside studying for an exam that I have to try to be confident about. I'm confident about nothing I just smile because if you look like you know what you're doing, it usually pulls off. Not in this class. Not ever in this class. I want to cry.

I think the thing that gets me the most is that I feel like I'm not smart because of it. I work so hard, I try my best, and still come up short. I feel like I actually can't get any better if I try my best, and I have been trying, and doing, the best that I can. I am trying desperately to improve...

For Saturday. the day from Hell.

I want to go to sleep, but I can't until I've finished and then calmed down. I don't sleep well during exams because my head doesn't stop, so I try to take measures to allow myself to slow down. It hasn't been working, and my exams don't start until friday. I'm doing my best.

I'm doing my best.

I'm doing my best.

Over and over, doing my best, the best, my, me, my best.

And yet, I am still falling short.

Jess