[three hundred, forty-five]
Twenty days left. I am going to be so lost. On the other hand, I feel like I just have more motivation to continue writing for me after this. I need to be better, I need to, and I'm going to. I hardly do anything without trying and giving it my all, but I'm going to have to find some more all in the back corners of my perserverance (is that how you spell that? you get it). I wish it was the break now, two exams in twelve hours should be interesting, atleast I can sleep between them.
Then I'm dancing for two hours straight, just in celebration and that I made it through. This was my first semester with a full courseload, and it clearly showed how shit I am at handling everything. this holiday I'm reading resources and continuing to write academic papers, because if I stop I won't get through. I know this, and I'm just going to get better, there's only up from here. I sound like Shania Twain.
I should be studying a little bit right now, but it's so hard to study for something that is so subjective. Why am I in english? Why am I collectively questioning everything latgely? I am having an individual period of enlightenment that has struck onto my being like lazer tag, pinned me down, and now I'm here. Questioning why I do the things I do, why haven't i brushed my teeth yet? Because Eddie Vedder came on and I needed to write.
I am going to turn on my final friends dvd and read over my children's literature notes. I haven't been doing so hot in that class, as my other english classes also reflect that I feel like I can do so much better. I'm realising the kind of person I want to be, and how to get there. I am reworking my mindset so that I am going to be okay. I love jazz.
So have a wonderful day, my next post will be an insane blurb about how happy I am to be on holiday. I get about a month off for chritmas (yeah d, it's appropriate) and I can read books again and catch up on tv, and be with the people I love.
Take care, and good luck!
Jess :]
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