what what behind

[two hundred, sixty-eight]

I am ridiculously behind on posts today, so expect two more after this one. I wrote a poem yesterday and I realised when I write poetry I don't particularly think about it, and the same happens when I annotate it. I don't think about the physical, literal, emotional, or have a focus to begin with, but by the end I just know my shit, I know what is meant and what I think is meant anyway. I feel like if there is anything to do with poetry in my head it would be that I just let my thoughts go, just continue them downward it feels like it just goes onward into my psyche, or maybe I should just stop reading Freud.

Maybe this is all a ploy to get some sort of response from my poetry, more than I already have gotten, not that I like writing it a whoooole lot, but I do like the outcome sometimes. Yesterday's poem I feel like I could revise a little bit, but for the most part I enjoy how I can put things like the way I see into words. I also write like I'm an insane person, all the time.

I feel as though my writing contradicts the way people conform to society sometimes, which I know is a huge statement to say, but really it is a large thing to get into words, and I feel a pulling within me as I write to not make sense, to not write within the lines within the box, to write as if unexpected, from different perspectives for example as a child, as a depressed alcoholic deadbeat cancer patient, but there is no way of knowing why all of this comes about.

Maybe I should major in creative writing with a minor in philosophy.

I have been thinking about taking some philosophy courses lately, but it sort of conflicts with the whole honours english major, theatre minor, but can you take a double minor? Wouldn't that be a helluva courseload. All I'd be doing would be essays, research, and thinking. God forbid anyone ever thought.

Think today, people, go forth and uncover ideas.

take care,

Jess :]