[two hundred, seventy-one]
Is it just me, or is this semester becoming increasingly more complicated as it continues to expand and grow? Maybe it is just me. I looked at my course outlines at the beginning of the semester (three weeks ago? Seriously?) and I realised that I didn't have too many assignments, essays, etc. to do throughout the semester, which sort of made me get into the courses more. But now, it just seems like things in other natures are piling up.
Such as applications, and resumes, and portfolios, and bills, and budgetting, and a social life? And so many other things, it's like so many of the things I used to enjoy for stress relief such as writing, being around people, reading, did I say writing and reading? All have lost their shine, because it is just piling up on me. I am holding the world on my shoulders and they're splitting down the middle.
I have appointments, and personal goals, and goals for classes, and class selections, and applications for travelling, and everything that really shouldn't be on my plate infront of me, nice centre stage with utensils strewn over my table, which is also covered in papers and cooks and discs and cords. Oh the cords. There is a never-ending brew of constant cords all over my life right now. Connections. It causes heartburn to think about it.
I can't swallow all of this. I need to just take it a day at a time, and stop comparing myself to everyone else. Let me be perfectly true to my sentiment, I do love school, I love life, I love everything that is going on, there are just those days those thoughts that irk me, that get me into a cuddled up nest in my bed and refract me from wanting to escape. I don't want to escape, can I stay trapped?
What is truth? Really? Is anything truly believable? What about honesty? I feel like these things are too heavy to ponder when I should be reading or writing or editing or applying or paying or walking running singing dancing jumping frantically trying to catch up. Eating? Should I?
I made the best dinner tonight. I "sauteed" tofu and red pepper in butter and then had some orange juice and some crackers. I feel like it was just the best thing ever, I loved it, and that is the bare honest truth. Stay tuned in the next week for characterisation, plots, musings, etc. I have an application (or four) that I need to start writing and preparing, to plump up and polish for the show!
It is autumn, I'm allowed to make county fair jokes.
I want to go out and buy a pumpkin, is that too early too? Why am I so late for some things and early for others? Can't the world just come up to speed with my time? Is tomorrow Thursday? You know what that means? Live jazz in the bull ring. This means I get one relaxing afternoon, with an apple cinnamon tea (and ice cream?) and just some relaxing for my relaxation...Prior to beginning a predetermined stressful group project. How's about we all just take christmas vacation a tad early this year? I want that.
Hope you all have a lovely evening, I still don't know what to do for my night that is left, probably figuring out a tentative reading/writing/editing schedule for next week. Is Thanksgiving a "holiday" if you have a midterm two days later? Nope.
LOVE
Jess :]
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