three squeezes

[two hundred, forty-nine]

I am trying to learn a song by ear agin, and it isn't chamber or choir or anything like that, it is a pop artist song, but it is just so unique and hard to get the hang of. I really love the song and have for a long time, but getting the words and melody uuugh, it is a frustrating process for the time being. I will continue to do it, because I need to, but I wish it was easier!

Things aren't easy anymore. When I was little things seemed so hard and now so fickle, considering doing a summersault used to be a challenge, now I'm struggling to pay internet bills and time manage properly. Priorities definitely change as you grow up as well, I remember when returning my best friend's copy of Pocahontas was the biggest issue in the world, and now if something's a little late to a friend, they don't even batt an eye, I am remarkably accountable, I don't usually forget to give things back.

Except for this one time when I was in about second grade, my best friend had let me borrow an Aqua cd, and I literally held onto it for a year because I loved it so much. She had moved on to better artists such as pink and such, but I loved that Aqua cd, and she will never let me live that one down, but all in good time karma will bite her back, since I have many stories on her as well. Many of these stories, however, will get us both into deep bush, so we continue a pact to not tell anyone.

Secrets are funny things these days. I don't think they're called secrets to me unless it is some sort of present or surpirse, otherwise it is just information that you don't tell everyone. Isn't it unhealthy to keep everything bottled up? I wouldn't know, I may be an open book, but there are things my above best friend is just finding out about today.

Things that I am not at liberty to talk about here, really, if you want to know I'd assume you'd talk to me yourself. I find it hard to tell everything here, and I think that comes from growing up. I love the feeling that I'm getting older, but I'm five months away from turning twenty, and I have this feeling that although I have accomplished so much in my two decades of living, I have so much more to do.

In my twenties, I will be travelling to Europe, having a road trip across Canada, graduating from university, maintaining relationships and building on them, and so much more. I want everything to be just dandy in this decade, and I want to surround myself to good people.

When I was younger I didn't have many close friends, until I got to my senior years in highschool friends came and went, but now I have a solid variety of friends, and I truly believe that if I can keep them happy and safe, I will in turn find peace and safety. I love my friends, I love my family, I love the fact that I get and got to watch my brother and sister grow up, and it is still an exciting time for this.

So if you are a person, a human being, a solid stable intervention of society, then slow down today and just look at everything you've accomplished. Your growth, your education, your relationships with people, your social skills, everything has changed, and will continue to change. We are all so unbelieavably lucky to be alive.

I believe in...people.

Jess :]