bad bred

ptwo hundred, sixty]

I have been having a hard time thinking critically lately, and I am trying to figure out why that is. I read certain things such as children's books, certain historical texts and documents, and articles and I find myself just understanding what is being said, not that of which could be analysed, and I think this is because of exhaustion.

I have been ready for sleeping for a while, and thankfully I have not been hit by the insomnia stick lately and I can actually sleep, but it is still unfortunate when I wake up in the morning still tired, which I think I'm going to change by sleeping a lot earlier than I do right now, and I am hopefully going to stick to that resolution.

Sleeping is difficult and different for me than other people. Some people do their nightly routine, and just flop into bed, no struggle for sleep, no praying for the sandman's visit, but just slumber. I, on the other hand, have some weird things that are needed in order to be able to get into the routine of sleep. I need everything that I had planned to do that day, scheduled in, to be done, I need all of the people in my life to be happy and at peace, and I need to be tired. It needs to be dark and night time for me to sleep also, unless I am in a moving vehicle or watching a movie in the dark.

These terms are sometimes contradicted, but not often. This has been usual for the summer anyway, I used to have to be watching a disc from Planet Earth in order to sleep, listening to the radio, not my ipod, I needed to have just had a shower, etc. I have weird sleeping habits, but most of all I have tried to adapt my sleeping to other people's schedules, and recently have switched it back to me me me. Being a selfish sleeper, and that is something that you need to be selfish about.

Your basic human needs and wants are thigns that are usually okay to be selfish about. If you're hungry, tired, energetic, feeling down, slow, etc. These things are imperative to act upon. If you want to take a half hour nap before reading because you don't think your eyes will stay open, that is something that you need to do, and you need to endulge yourself in that.

Do what will make yourself most healthy, happy, and at peace.

I talk a lot about peace I've noticed, and I don't mean all the time about world peace, miss universe answers that mean the children in Africa are out of poverty the third world countries are out of turmoil, however much that that abstract unpeace bothers me, I mean more at home. I mean in your head, peace of mind, coming to terms with the darkness in the world and carrying your own mental flashlight. I always say that in my mind there is a garden of positivty, I will plant my seeds in you. That could be taken as a sexual euphemism for sex, or it could just be me trying to impart my healthy peace of mind in other people, who need a little shot of positivty sometimes.

Which is something I pride myself in, I love being positive. I am not saying I'm always positive, but I literally have had a happy place in my mind since I was in second grade, for the obvious reasons that nobody wanted to play house with me at recess so I would spend it day dreaming about places I'd rather be, like Egyppt or England or Medieval times, with different friends and adventures and lives, I think that's why I love stories so much, it just emphasizes my imagination. And I have not lost those daydreams, nor has the subjectification for me to have them...

So if you're tired and need a nap, or need some peace of mind, take a couple of cuttings from my peace garden, I have some daisies and mums for rent, the only thing I can ask is if you do take some plant it, water it, neglect a little but always come back to it, and finally... When I need some peace cuttings myself, always be open.

love,

Jess :]