if this is the end, it's not where I want to be.

[one hundred, twenty two]

One of my biggest fears is running out of time. I want to do so many things in my life, and I haven't written a list or anything, but I need to accomplish certain things before I am done here, and I feel like the scariest thing is not having time to do them all. I recently wrote down, in order, the places around the world that I want to visit. I have decided that at some time or another I want to live in NYC, Lond, Toronto, and in a bungalow. I have decided that I want to see everything I possibly can before I can't see anything at all. I want to see.

I see you.

Thinking about fears, it is a human condition that is a solid staple through out evolution. I mean, the cave men were afraid of, well, death, and probably their fires running out and if they couldn't find enough food. through out history there is overlapping evidence that the drives in men are fuelled by fear. Some people claim to have none, to be fearless, but those people are far from perfect. I would even gander to say that they are gutless, and probably psychotic. Everyone is afraid of something, let it be the dark, losing power, dying, failing, falling, everyone is afraid of anythoing and it is a fear no matter how small.

I have this feeling that a common fear for people is other people knowing that they are afraid. I am afraid, every day, of losing someone, running out of time, the dark, falling, losing my fire, and so many things, but I don't let those things hinder how I live my life, but replenish the fire, the drive that I have to live. If the world is full of fear, and it is, why just shut down and close off your life? Why give up if there is so much to be afraid of if the fear comes from risks? Take risks, take lots, live life, love everyone, smile every moment possible, and never give up on yourself, because it is totally, totally worth it.

I love you, because that isn't said enough, I'll say it to whoever reads this, which is probably just me lately. I promise that my writing binge will happen in the next two weeks, and that I will get to know myself better through this risk. Take a new one everyday, :)

love, always,

Jess :]