Saturday, May 14, 2011

fourteen, fifteen. I think only fourteen.

[one hundred, thirty four]

I am getting a night guard on Monday, and it is for my jaw so I don't get any more bruises, because at night when I get stressed or insomnia I grind my teeth during the times when I actually sleep. This causes everything in my head to throb, and therefore I gave myself an ultimatum: I was going to get a mouth guard-type thing for night time sleeping, or I was going to start actually crying myself to sleep from the pain. I chose the prior, and here I am, actually excited for the night guard.

I never had braces, so I never got a retainer or anything remotely normal from the dentist... So I was sort of excited to get the news that a night guard was an option. I want something that I can have in a cute little case, and then put in at night. Not only will it help me feel like I didn't miss out on a teenage experience, but it'll help make my jaw feel better.

I've had this thing my entire life that I always wanted to be an average teenager. I wanted to have a messy room and leftover dance tickets. I wanted to have binders that were messy and skip classes. I wanted to go to Prom and hate it and love it. I wanted everything that high school students usually had. After I was diagnosed with my eye condition, I tried even harder to accomplish this. I spent my entire four years of high school making sure that I did this and forgetting at the same time to do just that.

Turns out by the end of grade twelve I had a messy room, so many memories in form of pictures and brochures and bags and all of those kinds of things. I have the best prom ever, I had the best friends ever, and I hardly regretted anything at all. I guess this mouth guard night thing will just add to the end of my teenage years, the final thing on the teenage to do list? Choose a university and move away from home...

Check!

On to the next chapter of my life I guess, sort of excited for that too. Transition periods aren't the best sometimes, but atleast it's getting easier to know who I am.

love, always,

Jess :]

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