shaken up

[one hundred, sixty]

You know when you lose something that is really important and you feel heavy responsibility on your shoulders? I have this thing where I can't even sleep if I can't find something until everything is fixed. I was thinking about it, and it really is frustrating when you can't find things, it's hard to ignore it's always there in the back of your mind. I feel like I shouldn't have lost anything.

You know when you lose something and you can't get it back? Like words or a person or a game, and there is no way to change what has happened? I feel that way sometimes. It's like when you work all day on a really good meal, and you're hungry from working all day, but when it comes time to eat the dinner, you feel sort of sad that you are losing all of your hard work.

You know the feeling that something has been lost and it is hopeless? I think I'm feeling that feeling a lot lately. I've lost things, and it's not like I'm negative about it or anything it's just that loss is such a hassle, the hassling part of life, the hassle is all in the execution. If it's your fault it just sucks, but if it wasn't even in your hands then wrapping your mind around fixing it is like a bad state.

Listen to the song 'asleep' by the Smiths.

take care,

Jess :]