is this serious 169?

[one hundred, SIXTY-NINE]

Well I realised today how unarticulate and poetically-challenged I am. I don't write like an eloquent elephant I write like I speak, which, unfortunate for people who read/listen to me, is harsh and raw and all over the place. I wish I was a little more contained, but I don't, because that's just me and you all have got to deal with it. I love simple things, but I also love messes. I think that would be my twitter hashtag #wordsthatdescribeme : mess, loud, different.

I watched When Harry Met Sally last night, is Billy Crystal supposed to be attractive in the eighties? Because he isn't, but he is absolutely attractive in every other possible way. So is Meg Ryan, and they have a beautiful friendship, and I think I finally understand the meaning and use of allusions in text. They referenced Casablanca numerous times in that movie, and I reference Hotel California in the story I wrote, and to be honest I never really loved allusions because if you don't catch on you don't really get the whole metaphoric rhetoric writing fancy pants style, but man, it's beautiful when you do catch on, sort of like inside jokes, you love to be in them, hate to not understand them.

It is all I can do to contain myself, all I want to do is just run around outside in the sunshine. I feel like jumping on my bed. I wonder if things from my blog make it seem like I'm happy with my life. If I read over all of my posts, which I'd enver do I don't have the patience quite yet, maybe when I hit two hundred, would you be able to reveal some sort of psycho-analytic mesmerizing insight to my life? I guess February probably was the most depressing month due to a break up and illness, but to be honest I think I loved that month, because it shaped who I am today, I'm tough as nails.

I take nails in my cereal, sans milk.

I would also like to stress the fact that I am happy, I live with an incredibly high amount of stress in my life, but I am clearly optimistic that all of this bullshit is just paving the path to my safe haven, that I've had so much stress in the first two decades of my life (specifically the past five years) that maybe the next two decades will be smooth sailing. I doubt it, but alas I remain optimistic.

Adding to the list of my beliefs, I believe in inspiration. I believe in goodness and hope, and I believe in the power ofa hug. Try it out, hug someone. It is like nothing else, honestly. You are being transferred energy. It's the best thing ever.

Take a break for me today, if you're on summer vaca you are lucky, if you have exams coming up good luck, if you're working honestly take a break and just relax for me today, and if you're kind of inbetween all of this mess than just get your shit done and then take the load off. That's me, doing my work, then watching some Beyond the Sea tonight probably since I've been told it's sort of amazing, and I don't doubt that for a second!

Take care! Caught up finally!

Jess :]