[two hundred, forty-four]
this is one out of two, I should write another today, but I'll probably do it tomorrow.
Today is an unhappy day. For some reason I just can't seem to justify a smile, and that is unusual for me, because I do not usually not smile. However, there was a moment today that I realised someone selectively told me information so that my feelings wouldn't be hurt, but in short, it did, because I know that although it wasn't necessarilly a lie, it wasn't the truth either.
I miss being okay.
I think with the stress of school, and the stress of being alone, and the stress of being happy, is just coming down at once and I'm tredding water and can't seem to stay balanced. I can't do anything right, I can't plant my positivity seeds in this house, it just isn't doing it for me.
So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, be happy, but you're allowed those days where you don't want to be alive anymore. I'm not saying I want to die, but I'd like to take a break from being a person like me for a while, or being a person at all. Could tomorrow be my day to be a ladybug? That'd be interesting, see what they worry about, so nobody can shit on me, for atleast a little while.
Thanks for taking me for granted, world, when all I ever did was be there.
cool.
Jess
Friday, September 2, 2011
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
my sunshine
ptwo hundred, forty-one]
YThis is going to be short, but i just wanted to say that if you love someone, tell them everyday, tell them everytime you think of it, and tell everyone you know. Unless you're completely close, then make things private, but to be honest it is important for love to be shared. Love isn't tangible, it isn't material, it isn't something written on a card, it is something that you feel deep deep inside of you, and when you breathe it makes the sun shine and the wind blow, it makes you feel incredible all the time, and in the bad times it makes you feel like there is hope.
I love you.
Jess
YThis is going to be short, but i just wanted to say that if you love someone, tell them everyday, tell them everytime you think of it, and tell everyone you know. Unless you're completely close, then make things private, but to be honest it is important for love to be shared. Love isn't tangible, it isn't material, it isn't something written on a card, it is something that you feel deep deep inside of you, and when you breathe it makes the sun shine and the wind blow, it makes you feel incredible all the time, and in the bad times it makes you feel like there is hope.
I love you.
Jess
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
oobie doobie doo
[two hundred, torty-two]
Is creativity subjective, or is it in a set perametre of "out of the box" that has been told to every high school english student for decades. Think out of the box. Think out of the box. Think out of the box. When you're writing a university essay, and you think too far out of the prof's box, you're out of the ballpark, but not in a good way. Be creative, but keep it classy, sand diago.
I think that creativity is innovative, it isn't something that you can just say "oh hey I'm creative," it has to be made from scratch and be loving and different and passionate, and it can be terrible, but atleast it is interesting.
Maybe creative should be a synonym for interesting, maybe that's just what I think. I think that people are too worried about being acceptable socially to be truly creative, and so they try to do things out of the box but in the lines. Just hit a home run, get out of there completely, try and do your absolute best, but be passionate about it.
Love what you do, do what you love.
That is what I live by, I don't do things that I hate just to do them, unless I must or need to to help someone else. I want to continue to do things that I love for the rest of my life, because they are important to me enough for me to care about them, and I think that if you care about something enough to love it, it is worth doing.
Always,
Jess :]
Is creativity subjective, or is it in a set perametre of "out of the box" that has been told to every high school english student for decades. Think out of the box. Think out of the box. Think out of the box. When you're writing a university essay, and you think too far out of the prof's box, you're out of the ballpark, but not in a good way. Be creative, but keep it classy, sand diago.
I think that creativity is innovative, it isn't something that you can just say "oh hey I'm creative," it has to be made from scratch and be loving and different and passionate, and it can be terrible, but atleast it is interesting.
Maybe creative should be a synonym for interesting, maybe that's just what I think. I think that people are too worried about being acceptable socially to be truly creative, and so they try to do things out of the box but in the lines. Just hit a home run, get out of there completely, try and do your absolute best, but be passionate about it.
Love what you do, do what you love.
That is what I live by, I don't do things that I hate just to do them, unless I must or need to to help someone else. I want to continue to do things that I love for the rest of my life, because they are important to me enough for me to care about them, and I think that if you care about something enough to love it, it is worth doing.
Always,
Jess :]
these are MY booberries, two
[two hundred, forty]
I started knitting last night, my roomie taught me, and the scarf I'm making is terrible, but I like it because I actually made it myself, and I think it is so exciting that I am actually doing something creative and productive! Here is the list of people that I hope to make something for this Christmas:
Grandma P, Grandma W, Riss, Ceara, Mom, Zo, possibly the roomies and the bio ladies, possibly, but who knows how long these things are gonna take to make not look like a holy (as in lots of holes, not saint-like), pieces of yarn with little things that are soft and sorta pretty in them, to beauties!
Beauties OR the beasts, that would be what I'd call my knitting brand, that makes me a loser.
love,
Jess :]
I started knitting last night, my roomie taught me, and the scarf I'm making is terrible, but I like it because I actually made it myself, and I think it is so exciting that I am actually doing something creative and productive! Here is the list of people that I hope to make something for this Christmas:
Grandma P, Grandma W, Riss, Ceara, Mom, Zo, possibly the roomies and the bio ladies, possibly, but who knows how long these things are gonna take to make not look like a holy (as in lots of holes, not saint-like), pieces of yarn with little things that are soft and sorta pretty in them, to beauties!
Beauties OR the beasts, that would be what I'd call my knitting brand, that makes me a loser.
love,
Jess :]
bring me some cocker spaniel puppies three
[two hundred, thirty-nine]
oh do stock and shoe
break and take snake shake n bake
come on down to hobo town
the train they stain the world's big plain
and tanned scan band like bingo cans,
tongue ton bungalows in fun bun town,
down? sound. What's the ground,
hit bit tip ship laughing cack fit bit,
shut that what bat scat the cat back to back,
and what but shut the up up up skin scup
scuffle, in the truffle chin, spin the tippies in,
focus: sounds, sounds and more sounds,
it sounds okay
Jess :]
oh do stock and shoe
break and take snake shake n bake
come on down to hobo town
the train they stain the world's big plain
and tanned scan band like bingo cans,
tongue ton bungalows in fun bun town,
down? sound. What's the ground,
hit bit tip ship laughing cack fit bit,
shut that what bat scat the cat back to back,
and what but shut the up up up skin scup
scuffle, in the truffle chin, spin the tippies in,
focus: sounds, sounds and more sounds,
it sounds okay
Jess :]
wow my room is a mess four
[two hundred, thirty-eight]
I wish that the entire entertainment system continued on with radio shows, like the bbc continues its radio shows where it isn't full of music, but there is a lot of talking a lot of conversation, and I think since I can't see very well in detail I like the conversations of people a lot better, I appreciate it a lot more, the dialogue in improv-style, and just good personable people. Why am I so on to this?
I dig it.
I'm listening to the old russell brand radio shows right now, I love that it makes me laugh out loud and cry funnny tears,smiling, man, it is so intelligent, it is so smart and witty and just very very good, I recommend this to everyone. His voice is also wonderful to listen to, everyone knows him as an actor though, or the man who's married to katy parry...
Awkward.
Anyways, enjoy.
pin pin,
Jess :]
I wish that the entire entertainment system continued on with radio shows, like the bbc continues its radio shows where it isn't full of music, but there is a lot of talking a lot of conversation, and I think since I can't see very well in detail I like the conversations of people a lot better, I appreciate it a lot more, the dialogue in improv-style, and just good personable people. Why am I so on to this?
I dig it.
I'm listening to the old russell brand radio shows right now, I love that it makes me laugh out loud and cry funnny tears,smiling, man, it is so intelligent, it is so smart and witty and just very very good, I recommend this to everyone. His voice is also wonderful to listen to, everyone knows him as an actor though, or the man who's married to katy parry...
Awkward.
Anyways, enjoy.
pin pin,
Jess :]
care bear countdown five
[two hundred, thirty-seven]
The fact of the matter of life is is that it is a mystery, it can't be defined, it isn't something that people search for like the holy grail, it is efemeral, it is living, and people search for happiness. Despite what everyone thinks, the human core is based around a selfish value, a journey for self discovery, Why is everyone so obsessed? Is that the right word, obsession?
If that is true, then the journey for self discovery is the most self-obsessed, selfish, independently contradicting idea in the world. People want to be charitable, and selfless, but that journey sort of completely contradicts the fact that those same peopole, and many people who don't have that mindset, believe that the world is about happiness and self discovery. You can't be self-directed and discovering if you want to be selfless, it doesn't work.
So the good ones have a very good medium, a happy balance (pun, intended), and it is a very nice thing to think of and I feel like in order to discover yourself, you have to come to terms that it is a part of human core to indulge in yourself in order to be selfless for other people, but to be completely selfless is sort of an idiotic idea.
I don't think I'm selfless, I actually know that I am not selfless, but I like to dot hings for people and help people be happy, I wish that everyone could smile all the time everyday, but I want to be smiling too, and in that way unfortunately not everyone can be smiling all the time.
So today please take a little time to just be comfortable and happy, get all cosy, and just don't worry about everything that is about to happen or has happened, or the fact that you didn't hold the elevator for that person, or you can't like that person who has feelings for you back, you can't control fate, and it is destiny that you are here.
hugs,
Jess :]
The fact of the matter of life is is that it is a mystery, it can't be defined, it isn't something that people search for like the holy grail, it is efemeral, it is living, and people search for happiness. Despite what everyone thinks, the human core is based around a selfish value, a journey for self discovery, Why is everyone so obsessed? Is that the right word, obsession?
If that is true, then the journey for self discovery is the most self-obsessed, selfish, independently contradicting idea in the world. People want to be charitable, and selfless, but that journey sort of completely contradicts the fact that those same peopole, and many people who don't have that mindset, believe that the world is about happiness and self discovery. You can't be self-directed and discovering if you want to be selfless, it doesn't work.
So the good ones have a very good medium, a happy balance (pun, intended), and it is a very nice thing to think of and I feel like in order to discover yourself, you have to come to terms that it is a part of human core to indulge in yourself in order to be selfless for other people, but to be completely selfless is sort of an idiotic idea.
I don't think I'm selfless, I actually know that I am not selfless, but I like to dot hings for people and help people be happy, I wish that everyone could smile all the time everyday, but I want to be smiling too, and in that way unfortunately not everyone can be smiling all the time.
So today please take a little time to just be comfortable and happy, get all cosy, and just don't worry about everything that is about to happen or has happened, or the fact that you didn't hold the elevator for that person, or you can't like that person who has feelings for you back, you can't control fate, and it is destiny that you are here.
hugs,
Jess :]
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